WALKING IS AN ART ?

WALKING IS AN ART ?
Who can hold back a smile when we think of a baby taking its first uncertain steps. No, there isn’t anyone that can describe or offer us a shortcut to get us past those first couple of steps and falls. Only a blend of tedious trial and error and patients will allow us to graduate to the world of the walkers.
I recently read that scientist consider the basic act of walking a complex neuromuscular function. We must allow our bodies to gauge the length of the step, the balance, the shifting of our weight. There are literally hundreds of muscle expansions and contractions to both remain upright and propel ourselves.
As kind of a back handed complement Honda, the high tech famous Japanese car manufacturer has been working on a man modeled walking robot for years. After a great deal of research and millions in expenditures they have developed a robot that walks upright and can even climb stairs.
Now given all the above and the fact that most of us seem to eventually get past the baby step stage. I wonder why so many people are so challenged when it comes to just walking in public. In fact, most of us spend the rest of our adult life practicing what we learned in year number one. I’d have to think that the average Joe would be an expert in this whole walking upright thing.
Don’t get me wrong. I love walking, I love to walk the beach, crowded city streets, mountain trails, and gravel roads. I’ve walked the streets and pathways in many great cities here and abroad. New York, Munich, Tokyo, Helsinki, San Francisco, Rome, Buda Pest Toronto, Kowloon Hongkong, and Rahway N.J (ok..don’t hold that one against me) In fact when I visit a city or country I don’t feel like I’ve been there unless I’ve walked around a bit.
Now, one thing I’ve noticed in just about every neighborhood, city, state, and country I’ve been to…it seems that many of the other sidewalk cowboys seem to have a great deal of difficulty in this very basic mode of transportation. I have to admit I get quite frustrated (READ THAT PISSED OFF) when walking behind or trying to walk around many of these adolescent toddlers.
I may be in fact the first astute observer to begin categorizing the walkers into their respective species and sub- categories. Some are only encountered as you walk towards them, some as you walk up behind them, and others just seem to come at you from nowhere. Ok: in no particular order as to the level of frustration I find in each group… here we go for starters. (with Greek translations)
THE 2 OR MORE WIDE WALKING GROUP: they generally can be spotted all holding hands or with lock arms, forming an un-passable road block
THE DRIFTERS: Just as you are trying to go around them they drift off to one side or the other, forcing you into others walkers paths
THE ZIG ZAGGERS: (homo sigzasius) These guys must be NFL fans, they walk the zig zag path and cut back the opposite way when you try to get around them
HEY..I’M WALKING HERE: If you get in my way I’ll bump shoulders with you and not even slow down
THE EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF SHUFFLE: Very similar to the “hey I’m walking here” type, except without the attitude. They are just so focused on themselves they are oblivious to others that are around them
LET’S PLAY CHICKEN: (homo polultrasius) These guys are found walking towards you. They have picked a path and will walk right thru anyone that would make them deviate from it.
SUDDEN START AND STOPS: I think these guys should have a sign, or blinking lights on their ass..They will be walking along at a good pace and then just stop short, as if they just remembered something….(also a back up alarm)
THE SKY GAZERS (homo galaxies) I’m not sure what’s going on up there, but they stare skyward while awkwardly bumping into every 3 person on the sidewalk
GEEZERS: These guys are ok…and they are a protected species by the AARP…its ok for them to walk slow…And they usually have the tennis ball attached to a large antenna so that they can locate each other.
SORRY WAS THAT YOUR FOOT: These guys like to walk on the top of your shoes rather than the sidewalks…
LET’S BLOCK THE SQUEEZE POINTS: I’m not sure if these folks plan to blockage narrow passageways like stairwells, and doorways, but they always decide to congregate in just the wrong spots. (everyone else can just wait)
FROZEN DEER IN THE HEADLIGHT: As you walk up on them, waiting to see what path or direction they will take so that you can avoid them, they just freeze ..like well…a deer in the headlights(also known as sidewalk road kill)
WANNA DANCE: When you come up on a member of the W.D. species, they tend to mirror your walking intentions..If you start going right, they go left, and visa versa ( this sometimes results in a prolonged ritualistic type dance until you can escape them)
ARM SWINGERS: self explanatory…If you walk behind them be sure to keep your distance or cover your vulnerable parts
Well, there is a good start on the list of walkers that piss me off. What kind of walker am I ? I’m really not sure, but probably from the getoutaway lakopatient family.
P.I.B.