AUTOMOTIVE PSYCHOLOGY 101

AUTOMOTIVE PSYCHOLOGY 101

Most Americans have an infatuation with their cars. For most people their cars represent their second largest single investment, next to their homes. Our cars are very important to us. They represent our personality, our status, and in many cases tell others a lot about ourselves. We own big cars, small cars, muscle cars, economy cars, and luxury cars. We buy two door, 4 door, SUV’s, sports cars, station wagons, and convertibles. We want a car that lends itself to our lifestyle. Cars offer us freedom, mobility, and sometimes just a way to escape.

I maintain that there is another dynamic in play here in addition to our clear obsession with our automobiles. Being the astute observer of human nature that I am, I’ve noticed a closely linked psychological phenomenon. I call it “Automotive
Dissociative Identity Disorder or ADID .(not to be confused with its close cousin Schizophrenia

This disorder is very prevalent in our society, effecting a large portion of our driving population both male and female. It derives from and is characterized by the fact that every human vehicle operator has two distinct personalities. We have our normal everyday social demeanor, and then when our car door closes, we assume our savage, antisocial, primitive and combative driving posture.(talk about your Dr, Jeckle and Mr, Hide)

Although this insidious affliction manifest itself across a broad cross section and spectrum of our driving population, it seems to infect female drivers most dramatically.(including the sub-category.. “little old ladies”)

I’ve already paid homage to the entire female race (just to be on the safe side, least I meet one in traffic), in a previous blog. It doesn’t hurt my male ego to admit that women may be better than men at some things. But I gott’a tell ya, driving aint one of them. Something magical, almost mythical happens when a women closes that car door. All that kindness, compassion, and higher level thought, gets left at the curb.(a comparison to Atilla the Hun would not be completely out of order here)

Although the behavior modification needs no other trigger other than a simple turn of the ignition key, the condition is often exacerbated by parking lots, heavy traffic, tailgaters, and other driving dumb asses. Symptoms are often manifested in abnormal and anti-social behavior such as: yelling, chanting of all four letter words, cussing, prolonged and uninterrupted use of the car’s horn, swerving past and dangerously close to the offending vehicle, and of course vehement and liberal use of the middle finger (except in the case of the arthritic old lady drivers and they shoot you the hook)

Even though there is currently no one cure for “Automotive ADID”, I now market several cures. First I have devised a driving with the fingers reinforced with wire, it gives you a great grip on the wheel and will not let you extend your middle finger. And my new breakthrough, an herbal supplement (not yet approved by the FDA) laced with Captain Morgan (available at drug/liquor stores everywhere, or on my website ..distributors welcome), to mask the symptoms.
Simply insert one tablet (rectally if possible) before pulling out of you driveway
And it acts with a reverse Viagra effect. Keeping the blood from rising to you face and middle finger.

Ps: the tablets are most effective when coupled with my Doctor P.I.B. phone counseling and anger management sessions, only $300 per hour.

P.I.B.