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SHIP WRECK POLITICS
“ Not a joke..I wish it was..”
So…a cruise ship wrecks out at sea and only a few life boats make it away from the ship. This story is about 13 people from one life boat that survive. After 3 torturous days at sea they end up on a desert island in the pacific.( I love desert island stories..see my article “The Lost Island- December ‘08“ ) The first day is frantic and they all band together to search the island and look for food and shelter. After the week or so, the group seems to break off and naturally gravitate into small groups based on like personalities.
As luck would have it there were 6 groups, each with two participants, as follows:
2 Bums (correct that: Ambitiously Challenged Gentlemen)
2 Construction Workers
2 Successful Businessmen (currently between jobs)
2 Cops (sorry, Law Enforcement Officers)
2 Bankers
2 Politicians
2 Indians (Not really…I’m just kidding..that was the Village People)
(No.. This isn’t a Noah’s Ark type parable)
If the group was to survive there was a lot of work to do and it was important that everyone pitched in. The island was rich in natural resources that could help sustain life for the castaways if they were willing to work hard and stick together. There were huts and shelters to build, fires to start and food and water to gather. The main food sources were fish and turtle eggs. At first everyone worked together, it was one for all and all for one, as the desperate situation made a common bond between all the inhabitants of the island. But soon tempers flared and everyone was in a very defeatist mood.
After a few weeks, the sense of hope was diminishing and some of the natural food, water, and low hanging fruit was becoming harder and harder to obtain. Rivalries and animosities had been arising between the once close castaways. It was clear that something had to be done to insure the future of the group. Each group heads off to a separate part of the beach to strategize and determine how they would survive until they were rescued.
The 2 bums (sorry, Politically correct version: Hutless People) began discussing their fate over some 100 proof, fermented coconut milk. (from their crude still) Let’s do as little as possible and claim that we are too drunk to do any meaningful work, those other suckers can carry the load. Why should we work any harder here than we did back home. Besides we have our coconut brew, and as many fish as we care to eat. The weather is warm and the nights are mild, why spend the energy to build a hut. I’m beginning to think I could get to like this place, this is really living.
The 2 construction workers also talked among themselves: Listen, you and I have the skills to build the huts, and make the tools that everyone needs. We can get recognition from the group and maybe they will remember our hard work when we finally get rescued. We might even get a job offer from someone when we get home. Besides, we are getting bored by just sitting around.
The 2 cops also talked privately. Have you noticed how edgy everyone is getting; I think they really need us to help keep the peace. We don’t have any weapons but we are both big guys trained in self defense, we can help keep the group acting peacefully and even punish those that don’t. I suggest that one of us works on gathering food for the group during the day and then patrol the island at night, while the other works the opposite schedule. We can best protect and serve the community by doing this.
The bankers had the construction guys build them a very solid hut that abutted to a cave that was etched into the islands only mountain. Here they could help the people by safely storing their excess coconuts, shells, and valuables (for a fee of course). They could also profit by lending out some of these assets to others in need (for 18% interest of course)
The 2 doctors met for tea in their large and spacious thatch hut. (Doctors will be doctors). The older physician told the younger one. We are two well educated men, we shouldn’t be doing all this manual work. The health of many of our fellow passengers is beginning to deteriorate. Some are suffering from insect bites, sunburn, and stomach disorders from too much coconut milk. I suggest we trade our medical services in lieu of our manual labor. Since we are the only doctors on the island, let’s raise our rates to 2 coconuts per office visit. (and make our patients wait in crowded waiting huts) We can live a good life here by doing this.
The two businessmen had a long discussion about their situation and had mapped out a business plan and a few alternate plans. Their vision was to not only survive but prosper on the island. The business men were willing to work long hours and do whatever was necessary, but only if they could begin to amass some extra creature comforts for themselves at the end of a few months. They would not be satisfied with the very basics of survival; they wanted more and were willing to work for it. In fact they also had a plan to obtain options on the island’s real estate and to bring tourism to the island when they were eventually rescued.
The last group consisted of two seasoned politicians. They wanted to be seen by the others as the leaders of the island. They proposed an election to instate them into power. The politicians realized that they would have to find a way to pander to each of the constituency groups on the island to get their votes.
Being politicians they felt a certain sense of entitlement. This whole island situation was great for big government. The less the people have, the more they feel they need government. The political types felt that they knew what was in the best interests of all the others (even more so than the individuals themselves). They also felt that several of the individuals were obtaining a better lifestyle than the others and this needed to be corrected.
It was vital that they charged the others “taxes” because, as we all know the government can not operate or give away money to social programs unless they first take it from their constituents. They also decided that it didn’t really matter which of the two got elected because it was really a vote for the same ideals, and the other guy would win the next election based on a promise to “change”. Here are some highlights from their plan:
The Doctor’s large hut was unacceptable; they needed to treat all the islanders the same and even work for free. Anyone needing health care would have to seek permission from the government (that enhances the government’s power over the individual). The doctors should only be paid 2 coconuts a month without regard to how many patients they cared for (tropical medicare)
The Business men were accumulating too much “wealth”, they needed to be taxed and have their wealth “re-distributed”. These guys are evil because they seek to profit from their work. Besides we need funds to help the others who choose to work less.
The Bums (sorry, less fortunate people) should not live outside in the old cardboard boxes from the boat, they should have at least as nice of a hut as the construction workers (but not as nice as the bankers or ours of course). They too need the basics of life, such as indoor plumbing, swing hammocks, and a big screen T.V. ( Ok..its an island, I caught that one).
The Cops should work tirelessly for the politicians and help enforce any law or decision that we make. ( Yes..even the stupid ones). These guys work hard and pay their taxes. Tell them we will give them a gold watch when we get off the island.
By the way, the Construction Guys should work for the government at least 2 days a week for free building government buildings and would have to come and get permission from us before they could build anything else (and pay for a permit to do so)
Let’s not forget our friends the Bankers, they are having a rough time with so few customers on the island so let’s throw them some bail-out money. We can’t let them go under
Oh, by the way..the Politicians decided to outlaw the harvesting of turtle eggs, because they are an endangered species (of course, so are the islanders at this point). They also decided to make half the tiny island off limits to the others ( the side that held most of the fresh water) to preserve it as a bird sanctuary. (Hey..birds are people too….and they need there space )
Well, there you have it. Our islanders are all making due with the cards they have been dealt. Looks like a pretty pathetic situation, I’m just glad I’m back here on the main land where we do things differently ????
As a footnote: The 13th passenger was a Poor Italian Boy. He built a small raft the 1st day on the island and drifted for 2 days with the current. He ended up on another small island where 12 women from the professional women’s beach Volleyball league had landed with their lifeboat and he is reportedly living very happily…
Please feel free to contact me at: pooritalianboy@gmail.com
P.I.B.
“ Not a joke..I wish it was..”
So…a cruise ship wrecks out at sea and only a few life boats make it away from the ship. This story is about 13 people from one life boat that survive. After 3 torturous days at sea they end up on a desert island in the pacific.( I love desert island stories..see my article “The Lost Island- December ‘08“ ) The first day is frantic and they all band together to search the island and look for food and shelter. After the week or so, the group seems to break off and naturally gravitate into small groups based on like personalities.
As luck would have it there were 6 groups, each with two participants, as follows:
2 Bums (correct that: Ambitiously Challenged Gentlemen)
2 Construction Workers
2 Successful Businessmen (currently between jobs)
2 Cops (sorry, Law Enforcement Officers)
2 Bankers
2 Politicians
2 Indians (Not really…I’m just kidding..that was the Village People)
(No.. This isn’t a Noah’s Ark type parable)
If the group was to survive there was a lot of work to do and it was important that everyone pitched in. The island was rich in natural resources that could help sustain life for the castaways if they were willing to work hard and stick together. There were huts and shelters to build, fires to start and food and water to gather. The main food sources were fish and turtle eggs. At first everyone worked together, it was one for all and all for one, as the desperate situation made a common bond between all the inhabitants of the island. But soon tempers flared and everyone was in a very defeatist mood.
After a few weeks, the sense of hope was diminishing and some of the natural food, water, and low hanging fruit was becoming harder and harder to obtain. Rivalries and animosities had been arising between the once close castaways. It was clear that something had to be done to insure the future of the group. Each group heads off to a separate part of the beach to strategize and determine how they would survive until they were rescued.
The 2 bums (sorry, Politically correct version: Hutless People) began discussing their fate over some 100 proof, fermented coconut milk. (from their crude still) Let’s do as little as possible and claim that we are too drunk to do any meaningful work, those other suckers can carry the load. Why should we work any harder here than we did back home. Besides we have our coconut brew, and as many fish as we care to eat. The weather is warm and the nights are mild, why spend the energy to build a hut. I’m beginning to think I could get to like this place, this is really living.
The 2 construction workers also talked among themselves: Listen, you and I have the skills to build the huts, and make the tools that everyone needs. We can get recognition from the group and maybe they will remember our hard work when we finally get rescued. We might even get a job offer from someone when we get home. Besides, we are getting bored by just sitting around.
The 2 cops also talked privately. Have you noticed how edgy everyone is getting; I think they really need us to help keep the peace. We don’t have any weapons but we are both big guys trained in self defense, we can help keep the group acting peacefully and even punish those that don’t. I suggest that one of us works on gathering food for the group during the day and then patrol the island at night, while the other works the opposite schedule. We can best protect and serve the community by doing this.
The bankers had the construction guys build them a very solid hut that abutted to a cave that was etched into the islands only mountain. Here they could help the people by safely storing their excess coconuts, shells, and valuables (for a fee of course). They could also profit by lending out some of these assets to others in need (for 18% interest of course)
The 2 doctors met for tea in their large and spacious thatch hut. (Doctors will be doctors). The older physician told the younger one. We are two well educated men, we shouldn’t be doing all this manual work. The health of many of our fellow passengers is beginning to deteriorate. Some are suffering from insect bites, sunburn, and stomach disorders from too much coconut milk. I suggest we trade our medical services in lieu of our manual labor. Since we are the only doctors on the island, let’s raise our rates to 2 coconuts per office visit. (and make our patients wait in crowded waiting huts) We can live a good life here by doing this.
The two businessmen had a long discussion about their situation and had mapped out a business plan and a few alternate plans. Their vision was to not only survive but prosper on the island. The business men were willing to work long hours and do whatever was necessary, but only if they could begin to amass some extra creature comforts for themselves at the end of a few months. They would not be satisfied with the very basics of survival; they wanted more and were willing to work for it. In fact they also had a plan to obtain options on the island’s real estate and to bring tourism to the island when they were eventually rescued.
The last group consisted of two seasoned politicians. They wanted to be seen by the others as the leaders of the island. They proposed an election to instate them into power. The politicians realized that they would have to find a way to pander to each of the constituency groups on the island to get their votes.
Being politicians they felt a certain sense of entitlement. This whole island situation was great for big government. The less the people have, the more they feel they need government. The political types felt that they knew what was in the best interests of all the others (even more so than the individuals themselves). They also felt that several of the individuals were obtaining a better lifestyle than the others and this needed to be corrected.
It was vital that they charged the others “taxes” because, as we all know the government can not operate or give away money to social programs unless they first take it from their constituents. They also decided that it didn’t really matter which of the two got elected because it was really a vote for the same ideals, and the other guy would win the next election based on a promise to “change”. Here are some highlights from their plan:
The Doctor’s large hut was unacceptable; they needed to treat all the islanders the same and even work for free. Anyone needing health care would have to seek permission from the government (that enhances the government’s power over the individual). The doctors should only be paid 2 coconuts a month without regard to how many patients they cared for (tropical medicare)
The Business men were accumulating too much “wealth”, they needed to be taxed and have their wealth “re-distributed”. These guys are evil because they seek to profit from their work. Besides we need funds to help the others who choose to work less.
The Bums (sorry, less fortunate people) should not live outside in the old cardboard boxes from the boat, they should have at least as nice of a hut as the construction workers (but not as nice as the bankers or ours of course). They too need the basics of life, such as indoor plumbing, swing hammocks, and a big screen T.V. ( Ok..its an island, I caught that one).
The Cops should work tirelessly for the politicians and help enforce any law or decision that we make. ( Yes..even the stupid ones). These guys work hard and pay their taxes. Tell them we will give them a gold watch when we get off the island.
By the way, the Construction Guys should work for the government at least 2 days a week for free building government buildings and would have to come and get permission from us before they could build anything else (and pay for a permit to do so)
Let’s not forget our friends the Bankers, they are having a rough time with so few customers on the island so let’s throw them some bail-out money. We can’t let them go under
Oh, by the way..the Politicians decided to outlaw the harvesting of turtle eggs, because they are an endangered species (of course, so are the islanders at this point). They also decided to make half the tiny island off limits to the others ( the side that held most of the fresh water) to preserve it as a bird sanctuary. (Hey..birds are people too….and they need there space )
Well, there you have it. Our islanders are all making due with the cards they have been dealt. Looks like a pretty pathetic situation, I’m just glad I’m back here on the main land where we do things differently ????
As a footnote: The 13th passenger was a Poor Italian Boy. He built a small raft the 1st day on the island and drifted for 2 days with the current. He ended up on another small island where 12 women from the professional women’s beach Volleyball league had landed with their lifeboat and he is reportedly living very happily…
Please feel free to contact me at: pooritalianboy@gmail.com
P.I.B.
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