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GYM RATS
One of my favorite pastimes is a good work out in the gym. I’ve been going for years now and still enjoy hitting the gym 3 or 4 days a week. I’m not the kind’a guy that goes there to socialize and spend the entire day. I want to get in there, catch my workout, and get out.
I’ve even purposely moved my membership to a smaller and less crowded facility, because I don’t have any patients for what I call the gym rats.
It seems like almost every gym I’ve belonged to or utilized on a trip has the same types of people as members. Here is a list of the major categories (of course there are sub categories also)
The Prema donna: Male or Female: these are the beautiful people, they are well groomed and wear only high fashioned workout gear, that shouts (heh..look at me). I’ve occasionally seen them actually pick up a weight, but for the most part they are content to talk and allow others to see them in work-out like poses.
The Grunts: These physical specimens are either bodybuilders or serious steroid users. They walk around the gym with head phones on, in a constant state of roid rage. They rarely stray very far from the nearest mirror, so they can constantly admire their own bodies. They often lift immense weights but even on light days they make sure their straining sounds and moans are heard across the gym. They are known to liberally dust themselves and their immediate areas with large quantities of caulk dust. Stay out of their way, when they are lifting, or strutting around the gym, with their chest all bowed up.
The Talkers: These guys/girls…really bug me. They hover around a piece of equipment, (monopolizing it) often with their leg up on it, but never seem to use the darn thing. They float from one conversation to the other, and will engage in a lengthy talk with any man, women, or child that happens by.
The Homesteaders: These guys are easily recognizable due to the fact that they seem to “move-in” when using a piece of equipment. They generally spread out all their wares in a 20’ radius (it must be some kind of territorial thing). Among the debris you will usually find: their gym bag, one gallon water jug, beach towel, some type of tuba ware container with foul smelling tuna, a protein drink, their cell phone, wrist wraps, knee brace, and ipod. You might as well move on to the next work station, rather than wait on one of these guys.
The Rester: The rester will actually pump out a good set or two of repetitions but then feel the need to let the entire gym see how truly exhausted they are from their efforts. They will often be found laying prone on the floor, bench, or seat of the equipment and will sometimes mimic the Grunts by making loud noises so that everyone can truly appreciate just how tired and exhausted the are from their last set.
The Walkers: the walkers are a breed that never actually work out. They roam from one side of the gym to the other, and can often be seen analyzing a piece of equipment as if about to use it, but then change their mind and move on to the next station ..often on the other side of the gym.
The Sweater: Hey..everyone perspires when they push their bodies to hard physical exercise, but the sweater takes it to the extreme. From the moment they walk out of the locker room, their work out attire is drenched with sweat. You can easily recognize the sweater, as the humidity in the room actually goes up. You can also tell when you are getting closer to a sweater because the carpet will start getting soggy and each piece of equipment you try to use will have a small pond of water left behind. Caution, the sweater can propel an airborne mist in your direction if you get too close.
The Piglet: Can me male or female: The piglet has the same unwashed workout outfit on since he joined the gym 16 months ago. The piglet also is identified by his propensity to leave all the weights on each machine as he moves about the gym for the 70 year old lady that wants to use the equipment next.
Well, there are other species and sub species of gym rats, but these are the most common ones encountered. If there wasn’t such great people watching at the gym, I think I’d just buy a bow flex machine and work out in my garage.
P.I.B.
One of my favorite pastimes is a good work out in the gym. I’ve been going for years now and still enjoy hitting the gym 3 or 4 days a week. I’m not the kind’a guy that goes there to socialize and spend the entire day. I want to get in there, catch my workout, and get out.
I’ve even purposely moved my membership to a smaller and less crowded facility, because I don’t have any patients for what I call the gym rats.
It seems like almost every gym I’ve belonged to or utilized on a trip has the same types of people as members. Here is a list of the major categories (of course there are sub categories also)
The Prema donna: Male or Female: these are the beautiful people, they are well groomed and wear only high fashioned workout gear, that shouts (heh..look at me). I’ve occasionally seen them actually pick up a weight, but for the most part they are content to talk and allow others to see them in work-out like poses.
The Grunts: These physical specimens are either bodybuilders or serious steroid users. They walk around the gym with head phones on, in a constant state of roid rage. They rarely stray very far from the nearest mirror, so they can constantly admire their own bodies. They often lift immense weights but even on light days they make sure their straining sounds and moans are heard across the gym. They are known to liberally dust themselves and their immediate areas with large quantities of caulk dust. Stay out of their way, when they are lifting, or strutting around the gym, with their chest all bowed up.
The Talkers: These guys/girls…really bug me. They hover around a piece of equipment, (monopolizing it) often with their leg up on it, but never seem to use the darn thing. They float from one conversation to the other, and will engage in a lengthy talk with any man, women, or child that happens by.
The Homesteaders: These guys are easily recognizable due to the fact that they seem to “move-in” when using a piece of equipment. They generally spread out all their wares in a 20’ radius (it must be some kind of territorial thing). Among the debris you will usually find: their gym bag, one gallon water jug, beach towel, some type of tuba ware container with foul smelling tuna, a protein drink, their cell phone, wrist wraps, knee brace, and ipod. You might as well move on to the next work station, rather than wait on one of these guys.
The Rester: The rester will actually pump out a good set or two of repetitions but then feel the need to let the entire gym see how truly exhausted they are from their efforts. They will often be found laying prone on the floor, bench, or seat of the equipment and will sometimes mimic the Grunts by making loud noises so that everyone can truly appreciate just how tired and exhausted the are from their last set.
The Walkers: the walkers are a breed that never actually work out. They roam from one side of the gym to the other, and can often be seen analyzing a piece of equipment as if about to use it, but then change their mind and move on to the next station ..often on the other side of the gym.
The Sweater: Hey..everyone perspires when they push their bodies to hard physical exercise, but the sweater takes it to the extreme. From the moment they walk out of the locker room, their work out attire is drenched with sweat. You can easily recognize the sweater, as the humidity in the room actually goes up. You can also tell when you are getting closer to a sweater because the carpet will start getting soggy and each piece of equipment you try to use will have a small pond of water left behind. Caution, the sweater can propel an airborne mist in your direction if you get too close.
The Piglet: Can me male or female: The piglet has the same unwashed workout outfit on since he joined the gym 16 months ago. The piglet also is identified by his propensity to leave all the weights on each machine as he moves about the gym for the 70 year old lady that wants to use the equipment next.
Well, there are other species and sub species of gym rats, but these are the most common ones encountered. If there wasn’t such great people watching at the gym, I think I’d just buy a bow flex machine and work out in my garage.
P.I.B.
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