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OUTT’A GAS
T.G.I.F. ..thank God its Friday, I can finally run the pick up down to the gas station and fill ‘er up.(or at least get ¾’s of a tank). I’ve planned ahead and already endorsed my paycheck.. “Pay to the order of Shell gas”.
I’m not quite sure when it happened but gas is now pushing four dollars a gallon. Now, I’m not real good at higher math but $4.00 per gallon times 25 gallons, sure shoots the hell out of a hundred dollar bill. And that’s self serve. I’m told $4.00/gallon is a fair price, hey, oil companies deserve to make a profit too. As a matter of fact Exxon last year squeaked by with a poultry 40.61 billion in profit (yes I said Billion). And it appears to be struggling along this year with a mere 11.7 billion in profit in the first quarter alone. That’s banking $1,300 per second in pure profit (even the best lawyers and hookers don’t make that much).
Also, am I the only one that can’t understand why gasoline companies charge the extra “9” on each gallon ?(maybe they’d only make $1,299 dollars per second without it) I mean, I could see using that transparent technique when gas was 29.9 a gallon, but now…give me a break . What if other businesses tried that scam….I could just see the menu at Luigies Pizza Shack….18” pepperoni pizza….$17.99 “9”.
Now, I’m not cheap, but at these prices you’d better believe I’m not wasting one drop of that stuff. As a matter of fact, when that digital read out hits 99.99 dollars, I’m lett’in go of that pump handle like a snake bit me. To make sure I’m getting my money’s worth, after I click that baby off, I climb up on the truck, with the hose held over my head and gravity feed every drop of that gas in the hose back into my tank.
To make matter worse, I noticed on line that oil is now $ 126 /per barrel for “light sweet crude” ( sounds almost edible doesn’t it), and may go up to $200 /per barrel. The worst thing is that those prices don’t include another war in the middle east. Do you have any idea what that little complication will do to the already fussy math, they use to figure gas prices.
A lot of people are worried. In fact, I’ve even heard that 7-11 has a contingency plan and will be removing their gas pumps and make their customers come in side to buy their gas by the quart. They will have it available in fancy glass bottles, individually labeled, on the wine rack.(ahh…Château Texas, 1000 B.C…a very good year). And if the price goes over $200 barrel…they will change the name from “sweet crude” to Eau De Toilette spray, and sell it by the once in fine crystal bottles, in the perfume isle.
I don’t know about you but it’s getting to where I can’t afford to drive around anymore. I’ve made up my mind, I’m selling my second car, and buying a moped, roller skates, a few good pair of sneakers, and a unicyle. Then I’m setting up my pick-me -up to run on a combination of “alternative fuels” and good old fashioned muscle power.
I’ve determined that now that the gas price has surpassed the minimum wage, it’s cheaper for me to get the neighborhood kids to help push the truck around. (don’t worry, I let them ride on the downhill portions of the trip). I’ve also had to revert back to my high school days and my New Jersey fill’in station (8’fuel siphon tube)
Well, maybe it will take going to a few extremes, before we decide to dig in the Gulf or in ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge). The last thing I want to do is to piss off the environmentalist, and I’m only speaking for myself here, but I can get by with a few less Polar bears and Florida grouper, if it means me riding, rather than walking.(I’ll beep when I drive by the zoo)
Hey, I’m loosing speed here, what’s up…“Keep push’in kids, and put some back into it..we’re almost home”
P.I.B.
T.G.I.F. ..thank God its Friday, I can finally run the pick up down to the gas station and fill ‘er up.(or at least get ¾’s of a tank). I’ve planned ahead and already endorsed my paycheck.. “Pay to the order of Shell gas”.
I’m not quite sure when it happened but gas is now pushing four dollars a gallon. Now, I’m not real good at higher math but $4.00 per gallon times 25 gallons, sure shoots the hell out of a hundred dollar bill. And that’s self serve. I’m told $4.00/gallon is a fair price, hey, oil companies deserve to make a profit too. As a matter of fact Exxon last year squeaked by with a poultry 40.61 billion in profit (yes I said Billion). And it appears to be struggling along this year with a mere 11.7 billion in profit in the first quarter alone. That’s banking $1,300 per second in pure profit (even the best lawyers and hookers don’t make that much).
Also, am I the only one that can’t understand why gasoline companies charge the extra “9” on each gallon ?(maybe they’d only make $1,299 dollars per second without it) I mean, I could see using that transparent technique when gas was 29.9 a gallon, but now…give me a break . What if other businesses tried that scam….I could just see the menu at Luigies Pizza Shack….18” pepperoni pizza….$17.99 “9”.
Now, I’m not cheap, but at these prices you’d better believe I’m not wasting one drop of that stuff. As a matter of fact, when that digital read out hits 99.99 dollars, I’m lett’in go of that pump handle like a snake bit me. To make sure I’m getting my money’s worth, after I click that baby off, I climb up on the truck, with the hose held over my head and gravity feed every drop of that gas in the hose back into my tank.
To make matter worse, I noticed on line that oil is now $ 126 /per barrel for “light sweet crude” ( sounds almost edible doesn’t it), and may go up to $200 /per barrel. The worst thing is that those prices don’t include another war in the middle east. Do you have any idea what that little complication will do to the already fussy math, they use to figure gas prices.
A lot of people are worried. In fact, I’ve even heard that 7-11 has a contingency plan and will be removing their gas pumps and make their customers come in side to buy their gas by the quart. They will have it available in fancy glass bottles, individually labeled, on the wine rack.(ahh…Château Texas, 1000 B.C…a very good year). And if the price goes over $200 barrel…they will change the name from “sweet crude” to Eau De Toilette spray, and sell it by the once in fine crystal bottles, in the perfume isle.
I don’t know about you but it’s getting to where I can’t afford to drive around anymore. I’ve made up my mind, I’m selling my second car, and buying a moped, roller skates, a few good pair of sneakers, and a unicyle. Then I’m setting up my pick-me -up to run on a combination of “alternative fuels” and good old fashioned muscle power.
I’ve determined that now that the gas price has surpassed the minimum wage, it’s cheaper for me to get the neighborhood kids to help push the truck around. (don’t worry, I let them ride on the downhill portions of the trip). I’ve also had to revert back to my high school days and my New Jersey fill’in station (8’fuel siphon tube)
Well, maybe it will take going to a few extremes, before we decide to dig in the Gulf or in ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge). The last thing I want to do is to piss off the environmentalist, and I’m only speaking for myself here, but I can get by with a few less Polar bears and Florida grouper, if it means me riding, rather than walking.(I’ll beep when I drive by the zoo)
Hey, I’m loosing speed here, what’s up…“Keep push’in kids, and put some back into it..we’re almost home”
P.I.B.
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