REDNECKS

REDNECKS

I don’t think I ever really even met a redneck until I moved to Florida. Maybe I just lived a sheltered life, or maybe New Jersey is just a low per capita state for Redneck population. I tried looking it up recently on the internet and was not able to find the redneck demographic on the census site or any other for that matter.

Jersey has a rich ethnic mix of people, with a good size population from about every country in the world. I think it has something to do with it’s proximity to the ports of New York, the eastern immigrant gateway to the U.S. I know that a great deal of Italians got off the boat there and settled in the New York and New Jersey area. Maybe all the Rednecks got off the boat and settled in Florida, but I’m not sure where they all came from. Judging by their namesake maybe it was near “Red” China ? Well anyway, the vast majority of them seem to have settled in the south and more particularly in Florida. It’s like the redneck nation down here. They have their own flag, that they proudly fly from their homes, pick up trucks, etc. We may have the bald eagle as our national symbol, but they have the pitbull. Rednecks have their own national sport.. “T.V. Wrest’lin” (and swear its real), They have their own national spokesman ..Larry the Cable Guy>>> They even have their own national anthems ..”Dueling Banjos”, and “A…. Hunting We Will Go”

Well all of that sure changed when I got to Florida, the self proclaimed Redneck capital of the world. In the beginning it was a little bit of cultural shock, but now some of my best friends are Rednecks and descendents of the original Florida Redneckiens. Some of them are full blooded rednecks and others only one generation removed from full Redneckdom.

Without getting into all the Jeff Foxworthy jokes, and at the risk of stereotyping their entire culture…it’s not that hard to pick a redneck out of the crowd. You know you’ve seen a redneck when: He’s spitting into a can, instead of drinking out of it. He brings his own knife to the steak restaurant, he has more major appliances in his front yard then you have in your house, he sits in a tree stand at work, he wears camo clothing to his own wedding, and he is the guy driving in front of you throwing beer cans out the window of his pick up that land in the bed of his truck.

Hey, Rednecks are people too, they just think and act a little differently than the rest of us. I’m fortunate to have a good number of rednecks that work for me, and I’ve gott’a tell ya, if you need something difficult accomplished go to a redneck. They have an uncanny ability for unconventional thinking and a just plain “Get ‘er Done” attitude. Those old boys will build, weld, fabricate, or duct tape together just about anything they may need. It may not look pretty when its done, but it will damn sure..Get ‘er Done.

It almost seems as if the redneck population down here is growing. Maybe they are breeding more or converting over willing participants thru marriage. I’m not even sure if you did a DNA test that they could isolate the redneck gene….I think it may be more of a state of mind. Ya know, come to think about it, maybe there’s a little redneck blood in all of us. Yeee-Haaaa…

P.I. “r” B. (poor Italian “redneck” boy)