CREATURE COMFORTS

CREATURE COMFORTS

I’d like to tell you that I’m as tough as they come. I can survive out in the woods in sub zero temperatures with only a pen knife, a pair of gym shorts, and half a stick of beef jerky. I eat raw steel for dinner and spit out nails in the morning. But the truth of the matter is, I enjoy my creature comforts.

Maybe I’m spoiled but, all that Spartan stuff is just not for me. After all this is 2008, why should I live like I’m back in the stone age. I’m all for every technology and advancement that make my life easier. I have no great desire to wash my clothes on a rock in a stream, haul water from a well, and I sure as hell will never give up indoor plumbing.

Sure, a fell’a could get by without some of the creature comforts, but why would anyone want to ? As far as I’m concerned the invention of the dishwasher, T.V. flipper, cruise control, my blackberry, and indoor air condition are among the greatest inventions of the last century.(right up there with nuclear power and manned space flight).

I’m not saying I couldn’t live without my I-pod, crushed ice, intermittent windshield wipers, electric tooth brush, nose hair trimmer, tanning beds, and satellite radio, but after all, what are we Barbarians ? Listen, if you never had these little conveniences, you might never miss ‘em, but once you’ve used them, they are a must have. Maybe we Americans are a little spoiled, but the way I figure it, we deserve it.

Just think, it wasn’t that long ago, and there were no cell phones, personal computers, microwaves, GPS systems, instant messaging, or e-mail. We somehow got by without, palm pilots, pointer pens, pepper grinders, VCR’s, American Express (don’t leave home without it),and flat screen T.V.’s Wow, talk about roughing it , we might as well have chiseled our letters into stone tablets and run around naked (hey..theres an idea). It also makes me wonder how did we survive without Pay Pal, My Space, Fax machines, or You-Tube?

I’m not even that old and I can remember some pretty archaic substitutes for today’s little luxuries. For instance, I can remember, 8 track stereo’s, cassette players, buggy whips (ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration), rotary dial phones, personal pagers (boy they didn’t last long) and car windows you actually had to roll up by hand.

The funny thing is, with the staggering rate of new technological advances, in 5 years, we will be laughing at half of the state of the art gadgets that we are so enamored with, that are just surfacing now. Who knows what the future will bring, but I’ll tell you one thing, I love new gadgets and, I’ll be the first one to buy that new food synthesizer or rocket car.

I wish I would have been smart enough to be one of the first investors in emerging technologies. Life could have been different for me if I had bought Yahoo stock when it first came out. Who would have guessed that every 10 year old would be walking around with a cell phone, sending text messages, and down loading songs from the internet. The old marketing slogan was “Find a need and fill it”, now its “Create a need, then fill it” .

I’d like to think I could still do without some of these creature comforts, but I think it may be harder to give them up than to never had had them in the first place. I mean, back when we were all sleeping on a rock, I’m not sure we found ourselves wishing for a select comfort bed, with 22 comfort settings. Also, it would be hard to imagine just turning up a thermostat, instead of going out a chopping down some more fire wood.

Some people worry that we will make it too easy on ourselves and get soft. Got news for ya buddy, we are all healthier and better off than ever. The time and energy we save skinning our own food, and sharpening pieces of flint into arrowheads, can now be used for more productive things like watching M.T.V and sitting in Yoga classes.

Come to think of it, I should find a way to profit from people’s insatiable appetite for newer and better conveniences and comfort items. Perhaps I could get ahead of the curve and patent some “can’t do without” creature comfort items of the future. How about:

Instant Beer Freezing Cups…just put a warm beer in the holder and presto…ice cold

Talking Alarm Clocks: that gently put you to sleep with a soothing story and wake you up,
just LIKE mom used to.

Auto Pilot for Your Car….driving is hard work…with my device ..”just, set it and forget it”

Self Scanning Shopping Carts…as you throw each item in, a voice announces it, along
with the price and sub total…we would also offer a variable setting to scold you, if you
purchased high calorie items, or too many desert items.

New Internet Site: Your image, professionally filmed in Dolby sound and living 3-d…No
need to go to those boring weddings, family reunions, blind dates, college classes, or
kids sporting events. Just direct your internet browser to : www.Its just me in 3-d.com

Well anyway, you get the picture. Life is hard enough, we might as well take a few short cuts. Doing less thru technology, is the business of the future. I think I will devote the rest of my life to the noble cause of doing less, and with all the time I save….I can…..”do less” ?

P.I.B.