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SHIP SHAPE
They call Fort Lauderdale the Venice of the United States. It’s also known as the boating capital of the United States. The beautiful beaches, outdoor cafes, and sunshine are a magnet to tourists world wide. In the last few years Fort Lauderdale has gone upscale, distancing itself from its former claim to fame as the college spring break place to be. Newly built high end condos and five star hotels now trace the shoreline.
Health conscious and very fit joggers, skaters, and bikers exercise along the roadways and sidewalks. It’s very scenic as you look past the palm trees, the white beach, and out over the water to the cruise ships and tankers anchored and waiting patiently offshore for their turn to enter the port. Fort Lauderdale Beach is defined by the inter-coastal waterway running the full length of the city and separating the mainland from the beaches it’s a boater’s paradise. Each year the city also hosts the country’s largest boat show. Hundreds of boats, yachts and accessories, from around the world are on display and priced to sell. Rich buyers from around the world attend with their check books at the ready.
It just makes sense that ocean loving people are drawn to this area and to the boating life style. In other parts of the country, people buy large homes in gated communities, because they are in good school districts, or close to great golf courses, in Fort Lauderdale it’s all about making sure your yacht has a good home. There is even an annual night time lighted boat parade each year to showcase your newest toy.
The exclusive south Florida location brings together a unique mix of great weather, excellent fishing, easy access to deep water, and most importantly: Money, lots of money. Even when the rest of the country is experiencing a down turn, these folks don’t feel a thing. I’m not sure if its old money, new money, stolen money, or drug money, but its here in abundance. A quick trip down the inter-coastal will reveal lavish houses and mansions, along the palm tree lined and always calm waterway.
The abundant man made canals, rivers, and waterways, are lined with the homes of the rich and famous. These well tanned tycoons run the gamut from Captains of industry, lawyers, doctors, movie stars, yacht brokers, car dealers, drug dealers, and perhaps the richest of the rich…plastic surgeons. There are huge multi-million dollar houses with carefully manicured lawns and gardens, complimented with custom built swimming pools, fancy cars, and pool houses.
A few of the things that make these homes stand out are the hi-end cars in the driveway and the boats that they have docked behind them. Boats, or more correctly yachts are docked majestically behind most of the homes. In this city, wealth is measured by the size of your boat and how many feet of seawall you control. On the east side of Broward county, Sailboats, trawlers, go fast boats, and sleek fishing vessels are the rule rather than the exception…Not to be outdone by other locations, these are the types of yachts you will see in other major resort destinations world wide, like Miami, Virgin Islands, and the French Riviera.
I can’t help but wonder what type of individual needs a boat of these dimensions. These things are the size of small cruise ships or mini- aircraft carriers. The cost of most of these beauties can well exceed the G.N.P of a small country. The price tag for this type of luxury toy can easily exceed a million dollars with many in the 5 to 40 million ranges. They shout. “I have money. I have arrived.” (I’ve cheated on my taxes) The owners of these marvels can well afford the price and they typically spend more money topping off their fuel tanks, or tipping the dock master, than Joe Average makes in a month.(I winze when filling up the old pick-up truck at the 7-11)
I’d love to be a fly on the wall when these future boat owners were justifying these multi-million dollar price tags in their own minds. “Hey, I need a boat like this to take the guys fishing”. (Fishing off a boat like this is akin to hunting duck from your own Lear Jet.) Or, “think of the money I’ll be saving on hotel rooms.” Lets see: at $99/night at Embassy suites it would only take one hundred and one thousand nights (or 376 years) to pay back a ten million dollars boat. (I could stay at a real Embassy if I had that kind of jack).
Well, I guess you can justify or rationalize anything in your own mind. To be honest, yachting is a great life style; in fact my grandparents were sea going people also. They traveled many miles across the Atlantic on a big ship (ok..perhaps it wasn’t their own ship…it was more like a one way voyage that they had to share with hundreds of other Poor Italians immigrating to the United States in search of a better life)
At some point, the boat ownership at this level becomes a type of competition. A high stakes game of keeping up with the Jones’s. My boat costs more than your boat, my boat is newer, and my dingy is bigger than your dingy. (and I mean that it the nicest possible way) There also seems to be a contest as to who can have the cutest or fanciest boat name. Most sport a name that is a clever play on words like: Reel Time, “C” Dweller, Pier Pressure, Salesmen Ship, or Seas the Day (I must be lucky because my boat came with a name already lettered on the back..it just says “Boston Whaler”).
These boat owners also feel compelled to equip their boats with all the latest and greatest amenities. I mean any self respecting yacht owner would not be caught dead with little creature comfort options like: radar, satellite TV., swimming pools, outriggers, 24 year old girlfriends, hot spas, sun decks, barbeque grills, generators, elevators, GPS, and fish finders.
As the owners up the ante with bigger and more expensive toys, the purchase price and operating costs go thru the roof. Once you go over 45 foot or so it gets difficult to take the boat out by yourself. As the marine real estate passes the 65 foot mark, you must begin penciling in wages for a deck hand and crew. These guys can really run up the payroll and will sit around in shorts and boat shoes, and wax the boat every day until you are ready to take a little cruise. (talk about a great job).
At 75 to 100 foot you are playing with the big boys and probably need a captain and a few more deck hands. Now you will find yourself needing extra state rooms just for the crew. Hey, and with all those extra mouths to feed you had better hire an executive chef. When you break the 100 to 200 foot mark you then join an exclusive club as the owner of a “super yacht”. These giants belong to the elite “super rich”. You have to wonder what their house looks like if they own a 60 million dollar super yacht. Don’t get me wrong, I like boating as much as the next guy, it just that I don’t see the need to dock the Queen Mary in my yard. If I wanted to see exotic places and travel around the world on a boat that big, it would be cheaper for me to just join the Navy.(at least I’d been done paying in a few years)
To tell you the truth when I pass by, it doesn’t look to me like most of these boats have even left the dock in a while. To be honest with you it’s kind of a hassle just to take one out for a spin. I see the same boats in the same places all the time. I mean what’s the sense of having an expensive toy like this if you don’t use it. I just don’t see the logic in spending millions of dollars on a yacht capable of going around the world and then just using it as a floating spare office or bedroom 50 feet behind your house.
The worst part is that south Florida is very susceptible to hurricanes. During hurricane season everyone keeps a close eye on the weather reports and boat owners have to make sure their marine insurance is paid up and be ready to sail to safer waters if a hurricane threatens. But even living in paradise has its price to pay.
To be honest, I’m kind of saving up for a super yacht myself, but I’m still a little short on cash.( ok.. a lot of short on cash) If I could just ask each of you to buy one copy of my new book: “Life as seen thru the eyes of a Poor Italian Boy” (at $19.95 plus shipping and handling) I could rush out and buy my dream boat(after I finish paying restitution) and after I sell the first half a million copies. (now that’s not too much to ask, is it). Then I too could wear stylish yachting clothes, ( I might even try one of the Hugh Hefner style smoking jackets in the evenings), name drop, have outrageous parties, talk incessantly about all the money I have, and maybe wear one of those little captain’s hats. (perhaps even tell my friends to call me captain) If you don’t want the book,(or already own a few copies) I will gladly accept cash donations, inheritances, gratuities, lavish gifts, home cooked meals, and even well meant I.O.U.’s (with a qualified co-signer and 10% down)
Overall, I think I could easily get used to being a mega yacht kind of guy, but until I win the lottery…I’m gonn’a just shut up and keep rowing.
Please feel free to contact me at: pooritalianboy@gmail.com
P.I.B.
They call Fort Lauderdale the Venice of the United States. It’s also known as the boating capital of the United States. The beautiful beaches, outdoor cafes, and sunshine are a magnet to tourists world wide. In the last few years Fort Lauderdale has gone upscale, distancing itself from its former claim to fame as the college spring break place to be. Newly built high end condos and five star hotels now trace the shoreline.
Health conscious and very fit joggers, skaters, and bikers exercise along the roadways and sidewalks. It’s very scenic as you look past the palm trees, the white beach, and out over the water to the cruise ships and tankers anchored and waiting patiently offshore for their turn to enter the port. Fort Lauderdale Beach is defined by the inter-coastal waterway running the full length of the city and separating the mainland from the beaches it’s a boater’s paradise. Each year the city also hosts the country’s largest boat show. Hundreds of boats, yachts and accessories, from around the world are on display and priced to sell. Rich buyers from around the world attend with their check books at the ready.
It just makes sense that ocean loving people are drawn to this area and to the boating life style. In other parts of the country, people buy large homes in gated communities, because they are in good school districts, or close to great golf courses, in Fort Lauderdale it’s all about making sure your yacht has a good home. There is even an annual night time lighted boat parade each year to showcase your newest toy.
The exclusive south Florida location brings together a unique mix of great weather, excellent fishing, easy access to deep water, and most importantly: Money, lots of money. Even when the rest of the country is experiencing a down turn, these folks don’t feel a thing. I’m not sure if its old money, new money, stolen money, or drug money, but its here in abundance. A quick trip down the inter-coastal will reveal lavish houses and mansions, along the palm tree lined and always calm waterway.
The abundant man made canals, rivers, and waterways, are lined with the homes of the rich and famous. These well tanned tycoons run the gamut from Captains of industry, lawyers, doctors, movie stars, yacht brokers, car dealers, drug dealers, and perhaps the richest of the rich…plastic surgeons. There are huge multi-million dollar houses with carefully manicured lawns and gardens, complimented with custom built swimming pools, fancy cars, and pool houses.
A few of the things that make these homes stand out are the hi-end cars in the driveway and the boats that they have docked behind them. Boats, or more correctly yachts are docked majestically behind most of the homes. In this city, wealth is measured by the size of your boat and how many feet of seawall you control. On the east side of Broward county, Sailboats, trawlers, go fast boats, and sleek fishing vessels are the rule rather than the exception…Not to be outdone by other locations, these are the types of yachts you will see in other major resort destinations world wide, like Miami, Virgin Islands, and the French Riviera.
I can’t help but wonder what type of individual needs a boat of these dimensions. These things are the size of small cruise ships or mini- aircraft carriers. The cost of most of these beauties can well exceed the G.N.P of a small country. The price tag for this type of luxury toy can easily exceed a million dollars with many in the 5 to 40 million ranges. They shout. “I have money. I have arrived.” (I’ve cheated on my taxes) The owners of these marvels can well afford the price and they typically spend more money topping off their fuel tanks, or tipping the dock master, than Joe Average makes in a month.(I winze when filling up the old pick-up truck at the 7-11)
I’d love to be a fly on the wall when these future boat owners were justifying these multi-million dollar price tags in their own minds. “Hey, I need a boat like this to take the guys fishing”. (Fishing off a boat like this is akin to hunting duck from your own Lear Jet.) Or, “think of the money I’ll be saving on hotel rooms.” Lets see: at $99/night at Embassy suites it would only take one hundred and one thousand nights (or 376 years) to pay back a ten million dollars boat. (I could stay at a real Embassy if I had that kind of jack).
Well, I guess you can justify or rationalize anything in your own mind. To be honest, yachting is a great life style; in fact my grandparents were sea going people also. They traveled many miles across the Atlantic on a big ship (ok..perhaps it wasn’t their own ship…it was more like a one way voyage that they had to share with hundreds of other Poor Italians immigrating to the United States in search of a better life)
At some point, the boat ownership at this level becomes a type of competition. A high stakes game of keeping up with the Jones’s. My boat costs more than your boat, my boat is newer, and my dingy is bigger than your dingy. (and I mean that it the nicest possible way) There also seems to be a contest as to who can have the cutest or fanciest boat name. Most sport a name that is a clever play on words like: Reel Time, “C” Dweller, Pier Pressure, Salesmen Ship, or Seas the Day (I must be lucky because my boat came with a name already lettered on the back..it just says “Boston Whaler”).
These boat owners also feel compelled to equip their boats with all the latest and greatest amenities. I mean any self respecting yacht owner would not be caught dead with little creature comfort options like: radar, satellite TV., swimming pools, outriggers, 24 year old girlfriends, hot spas, sun decks, barbeque grills, generators, elevators, GPS, and fish finders.
As the owners up the ante with bigger and more expensive toys, the purchase price and operating costs go thru the roof. Once you go over 45 foot or so it gets difficult to take the boat out by yourself. As the marine real estate passes the 65 foot mark, you must begin penciling in wages for a deck hand and crew. These guys can really run up the payroll and will sit around in shorts and boat shoes, and wax the boat every day until you are ready to take a little cruise. (talk about a great job).
At 75 to 100 foot you are playing with the big boys and probably need a captain and a few more deck hands. Now you will find yourself needing extra state rooms just for the crew. Hey, and with all those extra mouths to feed you had better hire an executive chef. When you break the 100 to 200 foot mark you then join an exclusive club as the owner of a “super yacht”. These giants belong to the elite “super rich”. You have to wonder what their house looks like if they own a 60 million dollar super yacht. Don’t get me wrong, I like boating as much as the next guy, it just that I don’t see the need to dock the Queen Mary in my yard. If I wanted to see exotic places and travel around the world on a boat that big, it would be cheaper for me to just join the Navy.(at least I’d been done paying in a few years)
To tell you the truth when I pass by, it doesn’t look to me like most of these boats have even left the dock in a while. To be honest with you it’s kind of a hassle just to take one out for a spin. I see the same boats in the same places all the time. I mean what’s the sense of having an expensive toy like this if you don’t use it. I just don’t see the logic in spending millions of dollars on a yacht capable of going around the world and then just using it as a floating spare office or bedroom 50 feet behind your house.
The worst part is that south Florida is very susceptible to hurricanes. During hurricane season everyone keeps a close eye on the weather reports and boat owners have to make sure their marine insurance is paid up and be ready to sail to safer waters if a hurricane threatens. But even living in paradise has its price to pay.
To be honest, I’m kind of saving up for a super yacht myself, but I’m still a little short on cash.( ok.. a lot of short on cash) If I could just ask each of you to buy one copy of my new book: “Life as seen thru the eyes of a Poor Italian Boy” (at $19.95 plus shipping and handling) I could rush out and buy my dream boat(after I finish paying restitution) and after I sell the first half a million copies. (now that’s not too much to ask, is it). Then I too could wear stylish yachting clothes, ( I might even try one of the Hugh Hefner style smoking jackets in the evenings), name drop, have outrageous parties, talk incessantly about all the money I have, and maybe wear one of those little captain’s hats. (perhaps even tell my friends to call me captain) If you don’t want the book,(or already own a few copies) I will gladly accept cash donations, inheritances, gratuities, lavish gifts, home cooked meals, and even well meant I.O.U.’s (with a qualified co-signer and 10% down)
Overall, I think I could easily get used to being a mega yacht kind of guy, but until I win the lottery…I’m gonn’a just shut up and keep rowing.
Please feel free to contact me at: pooritalianboy@gmail.com
P.I.B.
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