CELLPHONES

CELL PHONE

What would I do without my cell phone ? The cell phone is my constant companion, it is always by my side, and I never leave home without it. Why, you ask…simple…I need to be constantly in touch, available, on call, responsible, reachable, on hand, and accessible. If not, I might “miss”a call.

I would hate to miss a call, drop a call, or not be able to make a call. I won’t even go out to dinner in an area where there is insufficient cell coverage. I don’t remember how I survived before the cell phone. My cell phone even signals me if someone is trying to reach me, while I am already talking to someone else. Now I can quickly “finish up” or hang up, with one person and immediately “toggle” over to the incoming call. If for some reason I can not quickly switch over to the incoming call, no problemo…my phone will automatically play my pre-recorded massage informing caller #2 that I am in fact already on the phone, or have stepped away from it, ever so briefly. In my most apologetic voice I also assure them that their call is important and I will return their call promptly.

My phone also stores the names and numbers of everyone I may have occasion to ever call, thereby serving the duel purpose of me speed dialing them, and also announcing the fact that they are placing an inbound call to me. I can text message,(although I think I’m getting a carpal tunnel injury in my knuckles) walkie talkie, and keep in touch with “my circle of friends”. My phone allows me to “stay connected”.

My phone also allows me to be “productive” while driving my car, jogging, or attending a friends wedding or funeral. With the new small size and portability of my cell phone I can take it with me on vacations, and family get togethers. Now business associates, customers, vendors, suppliers, stock brokers, and even prank callers can reach me 24/7, no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I’ve even ordered the new optional “nocturnal alert system”, that gently rocks me awake, so that I don’t miss a call while asleep. Now that is technology.

I love the fact that the new cell phones allow me to have 400 different and sometimes annoying ring tones. I can even set it up to ring with a different custom tone for everyone I know. I now can answer to anything from a basketball buzzer to Mozart. Forget the fact that I may be aggravating everyone else trying to have a quiet dinner, I feel a need to hear “stairway to heaven” when my golfing buddies call.

As far as I’m concerned we’ve come a long way from Rita the operator having to plug our incoming call into a switch board, or having to stand around within 3 feet of the fixed family rotary dial phone with its curly-Q cord, in the kitchen. The newest cell phones are getting smaller and more powerful. One of my favorite new gimmicks is the blue tooth head phone, that inserts in my ear. Now, in addition to looking like a character from Star Trek, I can answer my cell phone calls without even taking the phone off my hip. I can walk around aimlessly in circles, with a far off look in my eye, apparently talking to myself. People passing by never really know if I’m addressing them, or if I’m just delusional and having a conversation with myself.

Technology marches on and my cell phone gets better and better. Now I can play music, watch video’s,check my appointment calendar, read the newspaper, get the latest sport’s scores and even surf the internet…all while talking on the phone and..get this.. driving..Talk about multi-tasking, all I need is to be able to monitor my own vital signs, teleport myself, and meet eligible singles in my area, and my cell phone experience will be complete.

Can you hear me now?

P.I.B.