SECRETS OF THE MIND PART 1

SECRETS OF THE MIND PART 1
SECRETS OF THE MIND
I felt strangely at home here, my mind was at ease and my skin was soaking up the warm California sun. The seagulls circled above before they soared down the steep cliffs and plunged into the sea.
If it weren’t for the fence and the barb wire, this would be the ideal spot for a resort. In fact, after 6 months, I’m beginning to feel very comfortable here. From my wheelchair in the garden, I can see a few miles down the coastline and well out into the Pacific.
The one hour I’m allowed out here seems to fly by, and now the orderly is here to take me for my session. He takes off my handcuffs and leaves them dangling from the arm of the wheelchair, while handing me my daily meds and a bottle of water.
Out of everything I have to endure here at Cliffside, I hate my session with the shrink the most, because he goes over the same thing every day. I hate sitting across the table from him in my wheelchair and handcuffs, while he makes one diagnoses after the other. He makes me repeat each time that we are all responsible for our actions, and must suffer the consequences. I’m not sure weather I need him, or he needs me. I believe he is treating me more like a research subject than a patient. I feel like he is using me to enhance his own knowledge of my experience, rather than trying to help me. He is constantly trying to get me to reenact my feelings and emotions leading up to my attack, it’s a painful place that I don’t want to go back to. I don’t really know why I hurt all those people, I don’t know what triggered my burst of strength and vitriol.
Yet, I always act like I’m getting a lot out of our sessions and try to appease the old timer. After all, if he thinks I’m not making progress, and with one word from him, I’ll find myself a few miles down the road at the real prison by the sea at San Quentin . How the hell will I ever be cured, when he makes me relive my violent episode over and over. I’ve told the story so many times, I should just write a book about it.
It wasn’t always this way, I often think back to my life before all this happened. The time before my motorcycle accident, before I was committed to this prison for the criminally insane. This is the part of my story that I have not shared with the doctors here at the hospital.
After years of studying martial arts, I became obsessed with the mental prowess exhibited by some of the great masters. These men had devoted their life to studying and understanding the physical aspects of their art, but some how they had eclipsed the purely physical boundaries of their art. They had learned how to tap into the mental or metaphysical facets of their abilities. I watched in admiration as these men withstood tremendous pain, and exerted great strength, thru the power of their minds.
It occurred to me that each of us possesses a vast and as yet virtually untapped set of capabilities, just waiting to be released. Occasionally certain individuals unknowingly access these superhuman abilities, but very few people can do so at will. Up until that point in my life, I was unable to focus my full attention on my discovery, but that too was about to change.
A year and a half ago today, I was running errands on my motorcycle. It had just rained and the road was a little more slick than usual. There were a hundred things on my to-do list, and I was mindlessly driving back to the gym to get my workout in. Suddenly, I was shocked out of my dazed state when a tractor trailer ran the red light, at the corner of Lincoln and Main. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I grabbed for the front brake and watched in horror as the bikes rear wheel came off the ground and I found myself flying over the handlebars and right towards the truck.
When I woke up at the hospital they told me I had been in a coma for over a week, and that I was one lucky guy. A quick look down at my twisted body and bandages, seemed to contradict their assessment, but I was glad to be alive. I had suffered multiple broken bones as well as severe brain trauma. The following weeks in the hospital were very difficult for me, however for the first time in my life I was able to just lay there and think. I started off practicing