BREAKAWAY REPUBLIC

BREAKAWAY REPUBLIC

“Love it or leave it”…..The same advise I’d give you about your wife or your country.
Anyway, I got to thinking about this whole thing when Alex Baldwin, Cher, and a bunch of other actors began saying that, if their candidate didn’t get elected they would just as soon leave the country. I mean, these guys have a ton of money and they can pretty much live like a king anywhere they decide to go, but what about the rest of us. (we have feelings too, right ?)

Come to think of it, I’m not too excited about my property taxes, and I would have liked a bigger refund from I.R.S. last year, so what’s my remedy? This got me thinking about the whole idea of creating a breakaway republic. Just like the former Russian states, Czechoslovakia, and countless others, we could just part ways with the rest of the country. I could start a new utopia, a place where government served the people. ( a place with no taxes) A group of like -minded people could all create their own little country (kind’a like Monaco) and not have to toe the party line. It would be great, only people who thought and voted just like me would be allowed.

Since I live in Florida, that would be perfect.( I wouldn’t even have to move, or learn a new language) So, I drew up a petition for the State of Florida to secede from the Union. The sunshine state could easily stand alone. In fact, we could require a passport and charge an entry fee to every one driving in from Michigan, New York, and Canada. So, I drove around the state trying to get 500,000 signatures, to show the Feds I meant business. After a month or so,(and a lot of gas money) I decided to kind’a put that idea on the back burner. The concept was good, and I met a lot of nice people, but I fell a few signatures short ( about 499,998 to be exact...many thanks to the fellow sleeping under the bridge in Fort Myers)

Ok, I guess the whole Florida thing is off the table for now, so I focused my attention on the next most logical alternative. I rented a boat over in Fort Lauderdale and took a little cruise over to the Bahamas’. I was greeted there with great fan fair and after buying a straw hat and getting my hair braided at the dock, I spent the rest of the day talking to local officials. It turns out they are doing fine and really don’t want any more obnoxious Americans on their island. (Unless they come over by cruise boat and leave by 4pm each day).

Not one to be easily discouraged, I immediately went to my back up plan. Maybe I could rent some space from our neighbors to the north. (they have a bunch of space they are not using). The Canadians liked the idea (but said not to send anymore draft dodgers, or medical marijuana users their way) and offered to trade me equal space if I would throw the state of Florida into the deal, (because half of their citizens have a second home there anyway). I felt the deal was a little too rich for my liking, so I thanked them (had a few Molson’s, took in a hockey game) and left.

To be honest, I was kind of running out of ideas, until I took a little trip south of the border. Just south of the Rio Grand was the perfect spot, and the Mexican government couldn’t have been happier. I was offered a 99 year lease on a tract as big as Arizona, that we jointly decided to name “Tex-Mex”. It was only after I carefully read the fine terms of the lease that killed the deal. The wanted me to construct a giant wall along the entire southern border of the newly formed state, to keep the new residents from border jumping into Mexico. They also said they wanted to reclaim the land, any infrastructure or improvements, and have me throw in the State of Texas when the lease expired. (what’s fair is fair)

Well, after a lot of thought and soul search, I’ve decided that maybe it’s just going to be easier to work within the system that we already have in place. I may not agree with every politician that comes to power, and every new law that is put on the books; but after looking at the alternatives, we really have it pretty good here.
Please feel free to contact me at pooritalianboy@gmail.com
P.I.B.