PIRATES

PIRATES

Pirates, this is 2009, are you kidding me. I’m not taking about the Pittsburg variety at the ball park, or the Jonny Depp of the Caribbean variety. We are talking real honest to goodness sea thieving, boat stealing, flag flying, plundering on the high seas Pirates.

Call me old fashioned, but when I think of Pirates I think of mighty sailing ships with rugged men, complete with pirate outfits, peg legs, hook arms, parrots, and patches over one eye. Ok, I understand that I’m conjuring up the pirates of the past, but haven’t pirates evolved with the rest of the species. In my mind pirates have been extinct for hundreds of years. If I were to see a pirate today I would expect that he would have at least moved his criminal enterprise into the 21st century.

Instead I’m reading in the news that another huge super tanker is being held captive by 6 guys in a Boston whaler off the coast of Somalia. I guess there has been little reason for a commercial merchant vessel to need protection up to this point, but now it seems that Pirates are making a resurgence.

Piracy is nothing new in fact hordes of raiding buccaneers were quite common off the coast of North Africa in days of old (Barbary Coast Pirates) However, not since the days of Blackbeard has the threat of Piracy at sea been a major issue. Today, ships sailing around the continent of Africa are once again deemed fair play by these outlaws on the high seas. The goal is to extract huge ransom demands for the ship and crew and extort the ship line and their insurance companies into paying. (I’m not sure but the last time I checked my Auto Policy, piracy was clearly listed as a policy exception, right next to acts of God.

When I see the pictures of these guys, I see a rag tag group of terrorist, not a well organized pirate type raiding party. It looks to me like these guys would really be happy if someone just gave them a good hamburger, never mind a whole ship. These misguided swash bucklers need to be busted and sent back to dry land, stealing hub caps and ripping people off on internet scams.

Any way you look at it the term pirates is still too good for these losers. What they really are in my eyes are a bunch of hungry terrorists in a row boat. Now, I’m not a military scholar or battlefield strategist but it seems to me that the U.S. Navy could make pretty short work of these doped up jet ski riders. It’s absolutely vital for world trade and commerce for shipping lanes to be freely traveled. This is an issue that all of the countries around the world have a stake in. International waters must be navigatable by all without fear.

Listen, the civilized countries of the world need to get together and pull the plug on these Pirate rafts. We are not looking at the third largest standing military in the world, these guys don’t have B1 bombers and nukes. We are looking at some sea sick out of work fishermen with too much time on their hands.

These guys have gotten away with this a few times now and their actions and successes are emboldening others to do the same. Its time to send a message, loud and clear. Civilized countries will not accept lawlessness on the open seas. Oh, did I mention, we don’t negotiate with terrorist. (even if they wear eye patches and black 3 point hats).

I can’t understand why the major world governments haven’t taken action yet. We currently have 3 major war ships in the area of the Pirates life boat. Maybe we are worried that they will call out their air force, which probably consists of a few guys hang gliding behind a jet ski.

Let’s give these guys a quick education in mess’in with the Navy 101 and move on. With all the big issues we are faced with today, I’d rather have us concentrate on North Korea, Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan, than a bunch of misfits with eye patches and wooden swords.

Thanks mates…Please feel free to contact me at : pooritalianboy@gmail.com

P.I.B.

THE BRAIN DRAIN

THE BRAIN DRAIN

Ok, before you move on to another page, this is not a Star Trek article. The big news is that Honda motors last week announced that they have developed a technology to detect thought patterns in the human brain and translate them to a robot. I’m not sure I see the correlation between car building and mind reading robots. Maybe one of the engineers tripped across the idea while he was trying to design a new hub cap. I can only guess that the guys in the car building department had a lot of free time on their hands. In any case this emerging technology has amazing long term potential.

The Honda press photo depicts a test subject sitting comfortably in a chair, garbed with what can only be described as a pasta strainer with a bunch of wires emanating from it. In any case, the company claims to be able to isolate and identify the brain impulses that we send to our limbs in order to make them move. By feeding this information to Asimo, the Honda robot, it can emulate four basic movements from the motions that the subject’s brain (a.k.a. Ginny pig) is transmitting. This new technology could represent an entirely new way for humans to interface with everything from computers to appliances.

I’m thinking that maybe Honda has some master plan to use this new technology to help them sell more cars. Maybe the driver could wear one of these hair dryer looking gimmicks and just mentally steer the car down the road. Of course, I’m not sure what would happen if you started thinking about hockey.

As a little background, Honda is an innovative and well run company that is branching out into jet airplanes and other technologies to round out their portfolio and lessen their reliance on car building. These guys are major players in everything from lawn mowers to motorcycles. They make a wide range of products from marine engines to ATV’s, all while U.S. car companies are busy building yesterdays cars.

In my mind this recent development has dangerous and far reaching implications, into the whole man vs. robot relationship (and you would already know this if you had my brain hooked up to one of those high tech brain sucking colanders). The possibilities are endless, in fact, I’m wondering if I concentrated real hard, if I could possibly get the robot to do the Macarena.

I mean, what if in the future we could be subjected to involuntary brain scanning and draining. It could potentially be used by the government, police, and even jealous wife’s and girl friends. ( I swear, that was my lipstick you found in the car) I’m also wondering if they could use any of this ill gotten information against me in a court of law. Being Italian, I’m already starting to think of ways to beat this new system. I just hope this contraption isn’t half brain scanner and half lie detector, which would be the last thing I need. I’m even wondering if I could throw it off course by just sitting there and thinking about baseball.

I don’t want you to think I have anything to hide (since the conviction, I mean) and I certainly don’t want to come off as being paranoid or skitzo here but , I’m not sure we should let this device fall into the wrong hands. The more I think about it, if this gadget can read my mind and interrupt my thoughts, maybe somebody can just flip a switch and throw that sucker in reverse and download their own thoughts right into my own noggin. ( I worry about stuff like this)

This new brain scan technology is in the very early stages right now, but unless I’m wrong it has huge profit potential and I want to buy in now, before the price goes up. My plan would be to get in on the ground floor before they end up going the multilevel marketing route, or being sale item of the week at Walmart.

Not to be short sighted, I also gave some thought as to how this new technology could help man- kind, especially “me- kind”. I’m thinking if I got U.S. import rights, I’d have to mass produce those bad boys to make them affordable to the average Joe. I could roll those brain drainers out nationally and get filthy rich. My plan would be to get the price down to 3 payments of $19.95 and then I could hawk them on my own infomercial with the Sham-Wow guy as my spokesmen. (robot and extension cord not included)

I guess this all goes to show that by building on newer and newer technologies, we can accomplish some amazing things. No to take anything away from the Japanese but something tells me that they may have stolen this technology from my father. Years ago my dad had already mastered the task of sitting in a chair and by merely thinking about something, it would get done. He called it “having kids”.

I wonder if I can teach that robot to cook Italian food….

Please feel free to contact me at: pooritalainboy@gmail.com

P.I.B.

SHIPWRECK POLITICS

SHIP WRECK POLITICS
“ Not a joke..I wish it was..”

So…a cruise ship wrecks out at sea and only a few life boats make it away from the ship. This story is about 13 people from one life boat that survive. After 3 torturous days at sea they end up on a desert island in the pacific.( I love desert island stories..see my article “The Lost Island- December ‘08“ ) The first day is frantic and they all band together to search the island and look for food and shelter. After the week or so, the group seems to break off and naturally gravitate into small groups based on like personalities.

As luck would have it there were 6 groups, each with two participants, as follows:

2 Bums (correct that: Ambitiously Challenged Gentlemen)
2 Construction Workers
2 Successful Businessmen (currently between jobs)
2 Cops (sorry, Law Enforcement Officers)
2 Bankers
2 Politicians

2 Indians (Not really…I’m just kidding..that was the Village People)

(No.. This isn’t a Noah’s Ark type parable)

If the group was to survive there was a lot of work to do and it was important that everyone pitched in. The island was rich in natural resources that could help sustain life for the castaways if they were willing to work hard and stick together. There were huts and shelters to build, fires to start and food and water to gather. The main food sources were fish and turtle eggs. At first everyone worked together, it was one for all and all for one, as the desperate situation made a common bond between all the inhabitants of the island. But soon tempers flared and everyone was in a very defeatist mood.

After a few weeks, the sense of hope was diminishing and some of the natural food, water, and low hanging fruit was becoming harder and harder to obtain. Rivalries and animosities had been arising between the once close castaways. It was clear that something had to be done to insure the future of the group. Each group heads off to a separate part of the beach to strategize and determine how they would survive until they were rescued.

The 2 bums (sorry, Politically correct version: Hutless People) began discussing their fate over some 100 proof, fermented coconut milk. (from their crude still) Let’s do as little as possible and claim that we are too drunk to do any meaningful work, those other suckers can carry the load. Why should we work any harder here than we did back home. Besides we have our coconut brew, and as many fish as we care to eat. The weather is warm and the nights are mild, why spend the energy to build a hut. I’m beginning to think I could get to like this place, this is really living.

The 2 construction workers also talked among themselves: Listen, you and I have the skills to build the huts, and make the tools that everyone needs. We can get recognition from the group and maybe they will remember our hard work when we finally get rescued. We might even get a job offer from someone when we get home. Besides, we are getting bored by just sitting around.

The 2 cops also talked privately. Have you noticed how edgy everyone is getting; I think they really need us to help keep the peace. We don’t have any weapons but we are both big guys trained in self defense, we can help keep the group acting peacefully and even punish those that don’t. I suggest that one of us works on gathering food for the group during the day and then patrol the island at night, while the other works the opposite schedule. We can best protect and serve the community by doing this.

The bankers had the construction guys build them a very solid hut that abutted to a cave that was etched into the islands only mountain. Here they could help the people by safely storing their excess coconuts, shells, and valuables (for a fee of course). They could also profit by lending out some of these assets to others in need (for 18% interest of course)

The 2 doctors met for tea in their large and spacious thatch hut. (Doctors will be doctors). The older physician told the younger one. We are two well educated men, we shouldn’t be doing all this manual work. The health of many of our fellow passengers is beginning to deteriorate. Some are suffering from insect bites, sunburn, and stomach disorders from too much coconut milk. I suggest we trade our medical services in lieu of our manual labor. Since we are the only doctors on the island, let’s raise our rates to 2 coconuts per office visit. (and make our patients wait in crowded waiting huts) We can live a good life here by doing this.

The two businessmen had a long discussion about their situation and had mapped out a business plan and a few alternate plans. Their vision was to not only survive but prosper on the island. The business men were willing to work long hours and do whatever was necessary, but only if they could begin to amass some extra creature comforts for themselves at the end of a few months. They would not be satisfied with the very basics of survival; they wanted more and were willing to work for it. In fact they also had a plan to obtain options on the island’s real estate and to bring tourism to the island when they were eventually rescued.

The last group consisted of two seasoned politicians. They wanted to be seen by the others as the leaders of the island. They proposed an election to instate them into power. The politicians realized that they would have to find a way to pander to each of the constituency groups on the island to get their votes.

Being politicians they felt a certain sense of entitlement. This whole island situation was great for big government. The less the people have, the more they feel they need government. The political types felt that they knew what was in the best interests of all the others (even more so than the individuals themselves). They also felt that several of the individuals were obtaining a better lifestyle than the others and this needed to be corrected.

It was vital that they charged the others “taxes” because, as we all know the government can not operate or give away money to social programs unless they first take it from their constituents. They also decided that it didn’t really matter which of the two got elected because it was really a vote for the same ideals, and the other guy would win the next election based on a promise to “change”. Here are some highlights from their plan:

The Doctor’s large hut was unacceptable; they needed to treat all the islanders the same and even work for free. Anyone needing health care would have to seek permission from the government (that enhances the government’s power over the individual). The doctors should only be paid 2 coconuts a month without regard to how many patients they cared for (tropical medicare)

The Business men were accumulating too much “wealth”, they needed to be taxed and have their wealth “re-distributed”. These guys are evil because they seek to profit from their work. Besides we need funds to help the others who choose to work less.

The Bums (sorry, less fortunate people) should not live outside in the old cardboard boxes from the boat, they should have at least as nice of a hut as the construction workers (but not as nice as the bankers or ours of course). They too need the basics of life, such as indoor plumbing, swing hammocks, and a big screen T.V. ( Ok..its an island, I caught that one).

The Cops should work tirelessly for the politicians and help enforce any law or decision that we make. ( Yes..even the stupid ones). These guys work hard and pay their taxes. Tell them we will give them a gold watch when we get off the island.

By the way, the Construction Guys should work for the government at least 2 days a week for free building government buildings and would have to come and get permission from us before they could build anything else (and pay for a permit to do so)

Let’s not forget our friends the Bankers, they are having a rough time with so few customers on the island so let’s throw them some bail-out money. We can’t let them go under

Oh, by the way..the Politicians decided to outlaw the harvesting of turtle eggs, because they are an endangered species (of course, so are the islanders at this point). They also decided to make half the tiny island off limits to the others ( the side that held most of the fresh water) to preserve it as a bird sanctuary. (Hey..birds are people too….and they need there space )

Well, there you have it. Our islanders are all making due with the cards they have been dealt. Looks like a pretty pathetic situation, I’m just glad I’m back here on the main land where we do things differently ????

As a footnote: The 13th passenger was a Poor Italian Boy. He built a small raft the 1st day on the island and drifted for 2 days with the current. He ended up on another small island where 12 women from the professional women’s beach Volleyball league had landed with their lifeboat and he is reportedly living very happily…

Please feel free to contact me at: pooritalianboy@gmail.com

P.I.B.

PRIVACY IS DEAD

PRIVACY IS DEAD

I just hung up the phone with my realtor; he found me a small island off the coast of Puerto Rico at a bargain price. I'm so fed up with things around here, I told him I'd make an offer.
All that I'm looking for is little privacy. I am in no way a hermit, or anti social person, I just don't want everything I say and do, to show up on the front page of the Wall Street Journal ( however being a writer, I would be happy to contribute a few articles for a small fee).
I never thought it would come to this but personal privacy is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Hundreds of seemingly minor and unrelated invasions of our privacy add up to a total loss of privacy. More importantly we have to deal with the issue of some person, company, or government agency, misusing this information.
Before you think I'm getting a little paranoid here, just hear me out. Never before in history has there been the technological or data storage capacity to accumulate a detailed picture of each of our lives. When, not if, an individual or group decides to tie together all that information, they could use it for any purpose they see fit.
Let’s use a hypothetical situation, like an average day in your life, to help make my point. Assume for a moment that a fictitious individual (Dr. Evil) had the means to gather, store, and analysis all your personal information and he wanted to use this against you. Here is how he might go about it.
You seem like a nice enough guy, I can see here by checking public records you are a graduate of University of Miami (hey..Dean's List..nice work). A quick search of county records tells me you've got quite the lead foot, 2 speeding tickets (you gott'a slow down buddy..those points on your license can really drive up you insurance rates). Also while I was checking on line records, you seem to be an avid fisherman, hunter, and gun owner; because you have obtained licenses and permits for all of these activities. Oh, and while I was checking the county records I zipped on over to the county property appraisers web site and typed in your name. It seems like you got a great deal on that 2,600 sq. ft house you bought in July of '02 for $152,900. (by the way, I also now have the names of your neighbors)
We can easily assume that I know where you live, heck any phone book or people search could get me that info. In fact I just jumped on Google earth and typed in your address so not only do I have directions to your home, but I have a fairly recent satellite photo and a very detailed street level 360 degree picture of your home. You probably didn’t see the Goggle camera truck that photographed your neighborhood. (hey, that bush on the right of your door needs trimming). Your car is in the driveway and I can see it is a late model Ford with the license plate # (ok..I'll keep that quite for now).
By the way, I took a little drive by your house last week and after only a few visits, I feel like we are old buddies. I hope you don't mind but I grabbed your mail for you on Wednesday and I have to tell you it was like hitting the lotto. I now know your bank account number, checking balance, insurance carrier and that it’s your birthday (gott’a love that mother of your, nice card..and the $20 bucks cash was much appreciated). Also, that copy I have of your phone bill is fantastic, now I have the phone numbers of most of your family and friends. Not to mention that copy of your cable bill, I even know what you watch on T.V.( better take it easy on that pay for view stuff) The best part is that, I didn't even have to use the high tech equipment I own that can monitor your computer usage, because you are foolish enough to use a non encrypted wireless network at your house.( I can tap right in from out front of your house) As a bonus, I picked up all your web sites and even your passwords. I love technology; I don't even have to search thru people’s trash anymore to get all this info.( I never liked that part of the job anyway)
The good thing for me is that your late model car has satellite radio and GPS installed in it..Great invention, that GPS, you can tell exactly where you are at any given time, but so can I. Well, you pull out of your nice suburban neighborhood and I'm tracking you on your own GPS (hey slow down buddy, because I can even see how fast you are going, not to mention having the ability to turn off your car and lock or unlock the doors). Ok, I can tell by where you are heading that you are on your way to work at the local I HOP, but just to be sure I checked the traffic cameras at a few of your local major intersections (smile for the camera)…
And, you are so predictable, a real creature of habit. It's 5:30 pm and your car ignition has been off for 8 hours and 5 minutes (oh yes, I get that info from your car also)..By the way your built in maintenance computer is telling me your car needs an oil change in 200 miles( you need to stay on top of that if you want your car to last). Here's where it gets interesting, you've left work and wouldn't you know my GPS tracker is down for maintenance right now. No problem, I have your cell phone records right here on my screen. You just called your girl friend at (ok..I'll keep that info quiet for now, until your wife's attorney asks me for that info). I can also tell where you are right now by seeing what cell towers your phone is accessing. It may not be as accurate as my GPS gimmick, but its close enough for government work ( note: Freudian slip). By the way, I bet you didn't know that I could turn your cell phone into a listening device, without you even knowing it…shhh.
Must be a big date night, you just stopped at the ATM on the corner of Main and 1st street and withdrew $300 bucks (plus a $1.95 service fee). I wonder where your off to, you shifty fell'a, you turned off your cell phone for a while, probably so the wife couldn't call you. That's ok, I'm a patient kind of guy, it won't be long. See what I mean, I just checked your bank records on line, and a charge on your credit card just showed up for $167.95 at the local high end Italian restaurant (they have an excellent lasagna there, I hear). You really should watch your spending, I recently pulled a copy of your credit report and you need to get that credit score back up, it will affect the interest rate you have to pay on your next loan.

Well, not a bad night's work for me. I have invaded your privacy and have gathered a ton of personal information about you. Of course, that doesn't mean that I would actually use any of that information does it ? Well, not unless it benefited me financially. This kind of intel could be worth real money, if you ever decided to run for political office, or perhaps your ex wife's attorney would paid me for what I know. The truth is I have a lot more data in my file about you and I have many more resources I can use to gather that information at my disposal. I really don't want to give away all my trade secrets, but I think you get the idea….Privacy Is Dead.

Please feel free to contact me at: pooritalianboy@gmail.com

P.I.B.

WHY STOP AT 50 ?

WHY STOP AT 50 ?

I guess the title of this piece could be a little misleading, because I’m not talking about 50 years of age (although, it’s a great idea for yet another article), I speaking about 50 states. I say, get out the sewing kit and lets add a few more stars to old glory.

In the early years, our country grew quickly, and why not, we had a large continent to expand into. My feeling is there is no reason to stop just because we annexed states from sea to shining sea. We were on quite a roll there for a while, but I guess adding states was a little easier back then. Today it seems that worldwide, everyone has pretty well staked their claims and drawn out there maps and borders. Today, new countries to buy or lease are harder to find than good beach front properties. Also, there are not many bargain priced real estate deals out there today like Long Island, and the Louisiana Purchase.

Most of the country sized real estate world wide is just not up for sale by owner. (maybe we should try Century 21 ) Also, since we really never pushed the military expansion button, our options are thin right now. We only want new states that want to be part of the U.S. anyway. (see my article on break-away republic). I’m not suggesting an Imperialistic expansion, just checking our options. We should send out foreign recruiters (less the rifles this time) to sign on some new blood.

Of course we could probably pick up Puerto Rico as a full state, if we tried. (great vacation place). In fact, the referendum on statehood has been voted on several times and only narrowly defeated down there. Also, I think Cuba could easily come our way in the next 20 years, especially with the large number of Cubans that already live here (I think they would like that) Thru an old (and contested) treaty we already have a perpetual lease on some prime beachfront land there for over a century now at Gitmo. It was originally secured as a coaling and naval station, and is currently a U.S. Naval base (our oldest overseas naval base, even though we don’t use coal in shipping anymore) covering approx. 45 sq miles. Let’s wait and see what happens after those fun loving Castro brothers are pushing Daisy’s.

It’s also my bet that we can recruit Israel (we are huge contributors to their military budget) and Great Britain (plus they already speak the language). We are close allies, and our peoples have a long history together. As a side note, the last time I checked, no one has claimed the North Pole yet (although I hear the Russians are working on it). Don’t laugh, scientists estimate the Arctic seabed and subsoil may account for 25 per cent of undiscovered oil and gas reserves. ( I told you this land rush idea of mine could really pay off).

Let’s face it, most of the world’s economy is hurting right now. If we were smart and kept a little powder dry, this would be a great time to go bargain shopping for a few new states. (Buy low..sell high, I always say) If memory serves me, we purchased Alaska from the Russians when their economy was faltering back in 1867 for about $1.94 per acre (even adjusted for inflation that was a great deal). The Louisiana Purchase in 1803 added a great deal of land mass and what would become approx 15 new states for about 15 million dollars, another bargain. Maybe we can go back and read the fine print of that deal, because it was widely believed that the purchase included the now Canadian provinces of Alberta and Saskatchewan (of course we would have to rename them as New Montana, There is also some desire in the southern Canadian providences to annex into the states.) Land deals became fewer and far between when we bought the U.S. Virgin Island from Denmark in 1917.
Guam became an unincorporated U.S. Territory in 1950. (Sorry not a state)

Over the centuries the world map has seen a lot of change, both in the names of regions and the constantly shifting borders. Time has a way of re-writing most things. ( A quick look at early maps will bear that point out) Maybe our country doesn’t need to stop at our shore lines. The British Empire once spanned the globe from Hong Kong to Africa. In the early 20’s the empire covered about one sixth of the earths land mass, including India, four self-governing countries known as dominions, and dozens of colonies and territories. ( Not to mention, our own little scuffle with them over land and taxes)

They say life is better after 50. Many countries around the world are becoming more “Americanized”, we must be doing something right. I think we should break out the check book and start playing global monopoly again by adding a few new states, when the gett’in is good. Not only that, we are running out of room for McDonalds and Starbucks locations. Looks to me like we will have to either broaden our horizons, start building sand islands off the coast (Like Dubai), or start thinking about our first lunar colony. ( After all, we did get there first. Better claim it quick, before someone else plants their flag)

So, here’s to the next 50 states.. By the way, There is there any truth to the rumor that Taiwan might be on the market ??
P.I.B.
Please feel free to contact me at pooritalainboy@gmail.com

DEAR I.R.S.

DEAR I.R.S.
Dear I.R.S.

I know you guys are busy (especially this time of year), but I have some questions that are kind of bugging me and I was hoping you could help me out. Being a good American, I pride myself on knowing how our government works, so I decided that I had the weekend off, and what better time to read a copy of our tax code. I envisioned myself hunkered up on the couch with a good cup of coffee and a copy of that best seller. ( I heard it was a good read)

Well, I drove over to the local Books A Million and tried to buy a copy and they just kind’a laughed at me. The fell’a behind the counter actually had tears in his eyes. Anyway, I headed over to the library, figuring copies of books and stuff, is their deal. You may find this hard to believe, but the librarian gave me the same look of disbelief and went to laughing also (of course much more quietly than the other guy ..(I mean it is a library).

Not one to be easily dismayed, I went home and fired up the old computer. First I went to Amazon .com…I didn’t know what category to look under so I tried: Fiction, Drama, Comedy, and even Coffee Table Books (well, maybe if you had one hell of a large coffee table). I really didn’t have any luck there so I tried a few google searchs. I found the mystical document alluded to several times but I was not able to actually locate the document (and I’m not sure how long it would have taken me to down load that sucker, if I did find it). Now I’m thinking there must be a copy somewhere, encased in glass or something, and on display like the constitution or the Liberty Bell.

I was however able to find some articles about the (alleged) tax code. I knew it was a rather large document and I’ve heard from some accountants and tax lawyers that it’s actual a real blockbuster. I’ve also heard it’s rather “wordy” with some sources indicating that it may exceed some 67,000 pages. (that makes it longer than the bible) Now, I love to read as much as the next man, but I’d have to take a 3 year sabbatical to pour thru that kind of novel.

Its seems to me that there can’t be too many guys like me that would have the time or smarts to really understand the “ins and outs” of the tax code (maybe I can get the cheat notes , or tax code for Dummy’s version). In fact, I understand that Americans waste some 6.2 billion hours just filling out their tax returns ( Is that more hours than Mcdonald’s has sold hamburgers?), at a cost in lost productivity exceeding 300 billion. ( I need an editor to fact check that for me, but at this point my creative staff is pushed to its limits).

I keep hearing about tax reform in Congress, but from what I can see the tax code has only gotten more bloated and complex. Honestly now, how many people can really get their arms around a law that far out of control ? The code has been added to and band-aided for years, it was a scant 400 pages back in 1913 (too hard to understand, even back then)

Listen, there is no question in my mind that the government has the “need and right” to collect taxes and I whole heartedly agree with them ( hear that guys..this is my fine print disclaimer. By the way feel free to stop by the house anytime for a nice dish of pasta… Love you guys) By all accounts, the system works for them, as they collect over 1.5 trillion (I love the way that word just rolls off the tongue) dollars annually in tax revenue. If It makes you feel any better, the government does a damn good job of spending every dollar of it ( and then some ..Special thanks to the Chinese and everyone else buying up our debt) Hey, they really need all that money, and where else can they get it from. It’s not like they can just turn on the printing presses and print some ( uhhh. On second thought ..maybe that’s not the best analogy in this case) . As a side note: the government could try spending less, but that’s never going to happen.

Alright, just so you realize I’m not just a complainer here are a few alternatives.

One: Discontinue the entire collection of income taxes ( Note: probably wont work,,but I thought I’d swing for the fences on this one)

Two: Move to a Flat tax: everyone pays a tax at the point of purchase. It would be administered just like a state sales tax. Based on the principle that people with money tend to spend money, and people with lots of money, tend to spend lots of money. It places the burden of collection on business owners (who have a lot to loose by not being 100% accurate and honest in their collections and reporting) No complicated paperwork, and very hard to cheat on. Also, its very inclusive because Americans are spenders.

Three: Leave the current system in place but institute a tax incentive to move the economy in the right direction. For instance: If a consumer (A.K.A. taxpayer) buys or spends in a target economic area he/she gets a tax credit. For instance, if the taxpayer buys an American car, opens a savings account, eats at an Italian restaurant (I am a little self serving here), or invests in heavy equipment made in the good old U.S., they get an offsetting tax credit against any income tax they owe. There is a loss of tax revenue from the individual, however the business or targeted entity receives new revenues that are taxable.

Four: We discontinue the tax code and have all the I.R.S. agents standing out front of department and grocery stores with a red kettle on a tripod, and ringing a little bell for donations. (or selling boxes of thin mint cookies)

I hope all you I.R.S. guys realize that I’m just trying to help out here…If your not happy about this article please contact me at poorfrenchboy@writer in exile.com . All others can write me at pooritalianboy@gmail.com

P.I.B.
Ps: Happy April 15th

BREAKAWAY REPUBLIC

BREAKAWAY REPUBLIC

“Love it or leave it”…..The same advise I’d give you about your wife or your country.
Anyway, I got to thinking about this whole thing when Alex Baldwin, Cher, and a bunch of other actors began saying that, if their candidate didn’t get elected they would just as soon leave the country. I mean, these guys have a ton of money and they can pretty much live like a king anywhere they decide to go, but what about the rest of us. (we have feelings too, right ?)

Come to think of it, I’m not too excited about my property taxes, and I would have liked a bigger refund from I.R.S. last year, so what’s my remedy? This got me thinking about the whole idea of creating a breakaway republic. Just like the former Russian states, Czechoslovakia, and countless others, we could just part ways with the rest of the country. I could start a new utopia, a place where government served the people. ( a place with no taxes) A group of like -minded people could all create their own little country (kind’a like Monaco) and not have to toe the party line. It would be great, only people who thought and voted just like me would be allowed.

Since I live in Florida, that would be perfect.( I wouldn’t even have to move, or learn a new language) So, I drew up a petition for the State of Florida to secede from the Union. The sunshine state could easily stand alone. In fact, we could require a passport and charge an entry fee to every one driving in from Michigan, New York, and Canada. So, I drove around the state trying to get 500,000 signatures, to show the Feds I meant business. After a month or so,(and a lot of gas money) I decided to kind’a put that idea on the back burner. The concept was good, and I met a lot of nice people, but I fell a few signatures short ( about 499,998 to be exact...many thanks to the fellow sleeping under the bridge in Fort Myers)

Ok, I guess the whole Florida thing is off the table for now, so I focused my attention on the next most logical alternative. I rented a boat over in Fort Lauderdale and took a little cruise over to the Bahamas’. I was greeted there with great fan fair and after buying a straw hat and getting my hair braided at the dock, I spent the rest of the day talking to local officials. It turns out they are doing fine and really don’t want any more obnoxious Americans on their island. (Unless they come over by cruise boat and leave by 4pm each day).

Not one to be easily discouraged, I immediately went to my back up plan. Maybe I could rent some space from our neighbors to the north. (they have a bunch of space they are not using). The Canadians liked the idea (but said not to send anymore draft dodgers, or medical marijuana users their way) and offered to trade me equal space if I would throw the state of Florida into the deal, (because half of their citizens have a second home there anyway). I felt the deal was a little too rich for my liking, so I thanked them (had a few Molson’s, took in a hockey game) and left.

To be honest, I was kind of running out of ideas, until I took a little trip south of the border. Just south of the Rio Grand was the perfect spot, and the Mexican government couldn’t have been happier. I was offered a 99 year lease on a tract as big as Arizona, that we jointly decided to name “Tex-Mex”. It was only after I carefully read the fine terms of the lease that killed the deal. The wanted me to construct a giant wall along the entire southern border of the newly formed state, to keep the new residents from border jumping into Mexico. They also said they wanted to reclaim the land, any infrastructure or improvements, and have me throw in the State of Texas when the lease expired. (what’s fair is fair)

Well, after a lot of thought and soul search, I’ve decided that maybe it’s just going to be easier to work within the system that we already have in place. I may not agree with every politician that comes to power, and every new law that is put on the books; but after looking at the alternatives, we really have it pretty good here.
Please feel free to contact me at pooritalianboy@gmail.com
P.I.B.

BUCKET LIST

BUCKET LIST

I don’t know how many of you have seen the hilarious movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman called: Bucket List. http://www.vh1.com/movies/movie/303327/photos.jhtml
The concept the movie revolved around was that 2 guys that didn’t know each other became friends after finding out that they only had a short time to live. Nicholson played an ultra rich entrepreneur that has the funds and wherewithal to finance the couples wildest and previously unfulfilled wishes. Their “bucket list” :(as in things to do before they kicked the bucket)caused them to embarked on a journey to “do it all” that included….. skydiving, hunting, skiing, and race car driving.

It got me wondering what would be on my own “Poor Italian Boy’s bucket list”, if my doctor gave me just 30 days to live. I’d like to think that I’ve done and accomplished most of what I set out to do in life, but still managed to come up with a “Wish List” list of things I’d still like to do before I kick the bucket. (in no certain order). As I got to thinking about it, some of the things I thought I really wanted to do, and even some of the things I thought were a priority for me, now really didn’t seem quite so important. (see items marked NSI or “Not So Important”, below) It’s also funny, that if you take the need for money and material things off the list, how it really changes. (in fact half of my list somehow doesn’t seem so important already) Maybe we should all take some time and think about what we really want to do and accomplish in this life.

Well, here’s my List: (subject to change..of course)

1> Make lotsa Money: (N.S.I)…who needs it after this month anyway ..as long as I kick it before my Am/Ex bill is due ( I won’t be around for that “final notice”)
2> Skydiving: (N.S.I)…I want’a at least be around until my “due date” (no since rushing things, by jumping out of perfectly good airplanes)
3> Buy Big House; (N.S.I)…I’ll be living it up on the road for the next month and then won’t be home much after that.
4> Get season tickets to my favorite teams…(N.S.I)..I can always watch the last few games on T.V. (they probably aren’t going to the playoffs anyway)
5> Mountain climbing (N.S.I)…I really never felt like doing it when I had plenty of time left, why would I want to start now ? ( I don’t even like climbing the stairs)
6> Throw Osama Bin Ladin : in a rear naked choke hold ..with no “Tap Out Rule” ..This ones a keeper
7> Spend Time with Family & Friends…make sure I take the time to say …”I love you”
8> Screw the IRS and the doctor who gave me the bad news out of their last payment ..ahhh..there is a God. (the doctor has since gracefully given me a few extra days to live, to make sure he gets my insurance payment first)
9> One night with Pamela Anderson and Angelina JoLee: ok..4 minutes will do…I really don’t want to hear what that have to say. (PS…I’m just trying to spread the Joy ..I heard that my name was on their wish list/Bucket List also) sorry Brad and Kid Rock…
10> Patch up my personal relationship with my Maker…(hey this should be #1 priority anyway .. especially right about now)
11> Enjoy every Sunrise and Sunset
12> Break the Bank at Las Vegas….ok…maybe that’s asking for too much. After all, nobody wins out there. ( they didn’t build those casinos, running a “make a wish foundation”
13> Do something nice for someone less fortunate than me, maybe a guy that only has 15 days left before he earns his wings. (there is always someone less fortunate then ourselves)
14> ”Eat some good Italian food every night” ..because it’s as close to heaven as you can get.
15> Oh…one last thing…maybe find a cure for what ever is killing me, so I can hang around for a while longer…

I’ve been thinking…you know, maybe we should all give some thought to the important things we want to do or accomplish before our time comes, because we may just not get that 30 day advanced warning….

P.I.B.

GO NUKE

GO NUKE

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of our country being dependent on foreign sources for oil and energy. I guess it’s largely our own fault, mainly because of our hundred year romance with the internal combustion engine. Four cylinder, 6 cylinder, 8 or 12, gas or diesel, they all burn a petroleum based fuel.

I guess I wouldn’t feel as strongly about this, if I felt we did not have an alternative, but we do. Auto makers are only recently beginning to produce cars driven by battery, plant based fuels, synthetic fuel, and now hydrogen. We have the technology; we just haven’t been willing to pay the price.

As strange as it may seem, at least one automaker, had their design team working on an alternative as early as 1958. It was an exciting time as commercial engineers raced to harness the incredible power and energy of the nuclear reaction, that had already been weaponized a few years earlier. Ford motor company had design plans for the first nuclear propelled car, the Ford Nucleon. It looked like a futuristic cross between a space ship and the Bat mobile, with the power source in the rear, nestled between out swept wings. The designers envisioned a passenger automobile based on the same, then emerging technology, that powered the first nuclear submarine, just a smaller version. It was a brave new world, and the genie had been let out of the bottle. Nuclear power was here to stay, and big corporations and manufactures were all too happy to jump on the band wagon and capitalize of this revolutionary and seemingly limitless source of power.

The nuclear core would fuel the car for approximately 5,000 miles of use and then simply be exchanged for a new one, at a type of high tech gas station. (sign reads: Tires, repairs, convenience items, and Nuclear Core replacements)

When they first came out in very limited quantities they were very expensive. Well my Dad, being the techie that he was back then, just had to have one, so he put a second mortgage on the house and plunked down the cash at the local Ford dealer, making him one of the first to own the new technology. I guess he was some what of a visionary back then because he knew that the price of gasoline probably would be heading north of .25 cents a gallon, sometime in the future and he’d have none of that nonsense. To be honest, I don’t think he ever really understood the dynamics that made the car go, but that sucker ran without making nay noise and had tons of wheel spinning horsepower. I think he was pulled over on the turnpike one day doing “Mach One”. In fact, I never got the chance to attend college because Dad is still making payments on the ticket and still trying to get the points off his license. (I think it was a $15.00 ticket plus one dollar for every mile per hour over 40.)

Well, that car took some getting used to, and caused quite a stir in the old neighborhood. Everyone else was driving early Chevy’s and Oldsmobile’s, but our car looked like something from “Back to the Future”. Dad, would take it out of the garage and wash it nearly every day just to show off to the neighbors. That old car took about 45 minutes to warm up and get the reaction going before you could take it out for a spin, making it impractical to use for a quick run down to the corner store for some milk. Dad being the eternal optimist(and cheap skate) that he was, would leave the car running all night long in the garage and figured out a way to hook the car’s jumper cables to our breaker box and we had all the free heat and electric we could use.

We all looked forward to the weekends because Dad would have the car fired up and ready to roll by 8am on Saturday morning. We’d all pile in the car and off we’d go. I think it gave Dad a certain sense of satisfaction as we’d pass gas station after gas station, as he’d count off the miles we had left until the car would need a fresh power source ( only 4,890 miles left before we have to stop he’d say).

Well I’m sad to say that we ended up selling that old car a few years latter because, (wonder what that sucker would be worth today) when it did come time to “fill ‘er up”, their wasn’t a nuclear equipped fill’in station in sight. By that time, Ford had abandoned the idea of mass producing the vehicle, because the United Auto Workers union in Detroit wanted “hazardous duty pay” for building them in addition to the 25 bucks a hour they were already getting. (I think Ford eventually diverted the balance of the car’s development funds to another promising new vehicle named the Ford Edsel) Also, a “refill” of the power source, would have required a team of scientists and a trip to Los Alamos. Besides, new research was suggesting that exposure to the radioactive materials that fueled the car might not be good for the passengers health. (Maybe we should have noticed the reddening of our skin and the radiation sickness). To help salvage part of the loss, I think Ford may have sold the patent, plans, and left over nuclear materials, to the North Koreans.(so that’s how they got started)

You know, maybe after all these years, its time to re-consider mass producing that car again. After all, times have changed, technology has changed and most of all, the price of fuel has gone up a little. (hey, I’d buy one) A model of the car, can still be seen in the Ford museum in Detroit.

P.I.B.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

Make up your mind to act decidedly and take the consequences. No good is ever done in this world by hesitation.
Thomas H. HuxleyEnglish biologist (1825 - 1895)

I think it’s important to ponder over important decisions. You certainly want to gather all the facts, and don’t want to rush when you are contemplating open heart surgery or writing your will. These are important decisions that will have long lasting and life changing effects on your life and well being.

That being said, not all decisions carry this level of import and consequence, yet I come across people every day that seem to weigh and agonize over all their decisions equally. Strangely, It seems to occur in direct proportion with the times I am behind them in line and most in a rush.

I try to be a polite kind of guy, but my patience and goodwill can only be stretched so far. I find myself screaming in my sub-conscious…”Come on people, make up your freek’in mind.” You are not taking out a mortgage on you house, just decide, what toy you want with your happy meal.

Now, I hoping my readers can help validate my feelings on this. Am I the only one that gets pissed off in these situations? Do these people have any common courtesy, or are they suffering from some kind of learning disability. It seems even the people that are waiting on them, are rolling their eyes in disgust.

Listen, if deciding weather you want sugar and cream in your coffee is such a brain freeze moment, maybe you should have thought about it for 15 minutes or so, before you got ahead of me in line.

I think the worst part is that these “non-deciders” are completely oblivious to the painfully obvious signs of impatience that everyone around them are exuding. A quick look around detects, foot taping, eye rolling, yawning and the all to familiar international signs to pick up the pace: the wrist roll (palm-in), or the middle finger (with eyes wide open as an exclamation point).

I often run into the “decisionally challenged” at the pharmacy: I have to wonder, Are they picking up a prescription or going thru medical school ?

Non-deciders seem to be particularly prevalent at a hotel concierges desk, after all those polite and knowledgeable people are there to help, Right.. but after waiting in line for 15 minutes behind the same person, I have to wonder if they are making dinner plans, or retirement plans.

So, how can we politely deal with the decision-challenged people we encounter everyday. Sometimes these folks just need a gentle nudge to get their brains back in the game. They can be identified when they make the statement “On the second thought” (for the 4th time). No, need to be rude, after all we all have moments of indecision from time to time. I’ve devised a few methods to aide in their decision making process, not dissimilar to the closing techniques that salesmen use:

Phrase you question so that a simple Yes or No will suffice
Positive affirmation: “I think you would really enjoy the rice, its really quite good
Pre-Emptive acknowledgement: Nod your head yes, as they answer
I’m assuming you want that with fries ?

Acknowledge the rest of the people that are waiting in line: I’ll be with the rest of you 20 people
in a moment.
Take all the time you need to decide. Would you mind if I helped the next person in line…”Next”

I was going to write a few more paragraphs on this subject, but I just couldn’t make up my mind. Sometimes it seems it easier to convince another person of what they should do, then to make up our own minds ?

Gotta run, it’s almost noon, and I have to start thinking about what I want to make for breakfast tomorrow morning.
P.I.B.

AIRLINES

AIRLINES

Let’s face it, most Americans today need to fly commercially. (or you can get a free government ride on a government plane, but it will cost you 4 years of your life) Perhaps the purpose of your trip is business related, personal, vacation, a family visit, or emergency. I guess the point I’m trying to make is, the airlines, much like the interstate highway system, represent a vital mode of transportation in the United States. If you need to get somewhere distant, and don’t have the luxury to take a leisurely car trip, you better book a flight.

With that being said, I don’t think anyone would argue the point that the commercial aviation system in our country is in desperate need of a “top to bottom overhaul”. (politically correct wording meaning: enema) The few remaining carriers are on the verge of consolidating or going out of business. Most have cut back on service, maintenance, flight routes and staff. (not to mention exacting payroll considerations on their employees) The average age of the aircraft in service is getting older, as the airlines hesitate to renew their fleets in a period of diminishing returns. (the plane I got on the other day said “new.. now radar equipped”) High fuel prices and maintenance costs, have ravaged their profits.

The level of quality and service has been reduced considerably, with many flights canceled and others not adhering to schedules. Flight delays and cancellation are now the norm and not the exception. Even getting a direct non-stop flight is getting harder to book. Travel agents have been all but been forced out of the equation, and internet ticket purchases are the norm. Ticket prices have soared and passengers are faced with increasing instances of overbooked flights and very uncomfortable seating. It’s a common practice for airlines to overbook each flight, knowing that a few passengers won’t show, but don’t expect a refund, even if they resell your seat. The airlines have also resorted to nickel and dime-ing their passengers with pesky additional fees, including, charging extra for stowed luggage, additional fees for “select” seating, and even charging extra for soda and water.

I find myself gritting my teeth before a flight, as we are herded onto the plane, and then required to sit in an uncomfortable chair, barely large enough for a child. (and then fight with your neighbor to see who gets the arm rest) The loading and unloading process alone seems to add almost an hour to the torture, aggravated by the passengers that just can’t seem to put their luggage in the rack or find their assigned seat. ( Preferring instead to just block the isle, so that no one else can get to their seat). I for one, would be happy to walk outside on the tarmac, and climb or descend from a rope ladder at the rear entrance of the plane to help things move a little faster. Poor Italian Boy airlines, would require any passenger not boarded and in his seat with 6 minutes to be escorted off the plane.

When was the last time you were on a flight with an empty seat? I’ve gotten close few times, but just as I was about to enjoy the extra two and a half square foot of space, the cabin door opened again and a few vastly overweight stragglers made their way right to the empty seat beside me. ( As I silently prayed: not here, not hear, pick another seat, please) So much for a little breathing room.

Listen, I can’t totally blame the airlines, they are in a tuff business and most of them are struggling for their lives. Another big merger is underway as I write this. The only way they can make any money is with jammed packed planes and fewer unprofitable routes. Ticket prices are on the rise, and discount airlines are on the decline. They have also mastered the art of pricing tickets and made it a science. Try to buy a ticket a day or two in advance and you will likely pay double or triple. Want to upgrade to first class after you have already bought a ticket, be prepared to re-finance the house. (for the privilege of sitting in front of that little closed curtain, and getting off the plane 4 minutes faster than the peasants in coach). Some of the long range overseas routes are a little more profitable and they offer a few extra amenities on these flights.

As far as I’m concerned the airlines have taken a giant leap backward. Ten years ago, they all held to a higher standard. Today, everything from the food and snacks to the seating and attitude of the flight attendants has gone down hill. ( And what happened to the nice cloth towels that were placed on every headrest) What used to be a pleasurable experience has now become, at best, an necessary evil. Add in the extra inconvenience placed on passengers at the airport with the extra wait, crowds, lines, and the security check in, and you are bound to be off with a bad start for the trip.

Listen, until the average Joe can afford his own plane, I guess we will just have to grin and bare it. (I don’t know about you, but I’m a little short on cash right now, so my brand new 747 jet will be on hold). Besides who says the jet plane will be the preferred mode of transportation 50 years in the future anyway ? ( If we all thought like that, everyone would still be traveling by stagecoach, train or greyhound bus) Times change, I’m thinking we need to take a giant technological leap forward or backward for that matter. Maybe we are all just in too much of a rush. If I had my say, we would bring back the blimps, the dirigible, a modern version of the old fashioned airship. (less the ultra-flammable helium) Note: these are actually under consideration now… Sure, we wouldn’t be able to make the cross country trip in five hours, but we would probably save a ton of fuel and there would be a heck of a lot more room. (more like a cruise ship in comfort) I think I would enjoy leaving Tampa around 3pm, having a nice dinner mid flight, (without having to squeeze a tray on a small fold out table in a seat back) then see a show, and afterwards (in my rented tux) and then retire to my stateroom. The next morning wake up refreshed, have a little breakfast and be at my destination. Maybe, I’d be the recipient of a little customer service to boot. The extra bonus would be flying at a low enough altitude to catch a little scenery and some fresh air. This way the transportation becomes an enjoyable part of the trip, not a necessary evil.

I think the airlines better make some drastic changes, and make them soon. Unhappy customers, will only tolerate any poorly run business until a suitable alternative is available. In the mean time, Americans love to travel, and we are a captured audience for the air travel.

Sorry, gotta run…they just called my flight.

P.I.B.

HALF MY BRAIN

HALF MY BRAIN

Noted radio talk show host and entertainer Rush Limbaugh often comments that he can do his show with ½ of his brain tied behind his back. Maybe Rush is not too far off course. I’ve also heard statistics that the average human only use 10 to 20% of his brain on a daily basis. (Wonder how they figure that out ?) Hey, if that’s the case, we all have a whole lot of excess brain power sitting ideally by. (Maybe the whole ratio is brought down a few percent, when we figure in what Politicians think about)

If the 20% rule is in effect, that makes me wonder what we are using the extra 80% of our brains for. A hat rack, or Hair mat, I guess ? And, if the average guy is only using 20%, what kind of horse power are the great thinkers pulling…maybe 40% ? …(also, I seem to come into contact with several individuals each day that would be hard pressed to use even 10% of their smarts)That’s still a lot of wasted gray matter floating around unused. ( A mind is a terrible thing to waste) And, how do we explain the extraordinary mental abilities of the savant, (Not to mention Dustin Hoffman and the Rain man role) with certain deficits in normal thinking, yet they can possess computer like abilities to recall information and process math problems. Are they unknowingly tapping into these great un-used reserves ?

When you think about it, in relation to the laws of nature, it just doesn’t make sense. Nature doesn’t waste resources on over developing things. Maybe all that extra processing power is there for us to use for “higher” functions that we have yet to fully develop, like: Telepathy, Levitation, or maybe just figuring out how to use that new Big Screen T.V. I’m thinking that maybe we just need a jump start or to throw some kind of mental light switch and we’d be in business. Maybe we are just set up with a few extra Neurons to replace those that will inevitably be killed off in normal alcoholic consumption and bar fights. Maybe, its just natures way of giving us the equivalent of a “cerebral spare tire”.

I personally don’t like to waste anything. I’ve been thinking about maybe renting out the other 80% of my smarts, I’m just not using, maybe to some kind of over achiever or something. I mean, it’s not like you can put your excess thinking ability in a brain bank and set it aside for when you get old and run a few quarts low or anything. I’ve also thought of putting an ad on Craig’s list and maybe getting a weekly group of similar folks together to network all of our surplus smarts.

I wish I had learned about this 20% waste of resources earlier. Maybe I would have done better in college if I knew I had all those reserves at my disposal. At the very least I would have used the formula as an excuse and told my teachers that “its not that I’m not working hard, I just want to make sure I don’t operate above my allotted cranial percentage” But, in reality, I probably just would have used the extra 80% thinking about partying and chasing wild women. (don’t worry, I would have left at least ½ of 1 % for studying.)

God must have given us all that excess thinking capacity for some reason. I think we devote a good deal of the seldom tapped brain cells for native thinking, impulsive thought, instinct, and sub-conscious thinking. Sub-conscious thought, must be what the rest of our brain is doing while we are thinking about the everyday mundane stuff. Dreaming must be the mental equivalent of idling our car to keep warm in the winter.

If it were up to me, I would probably just re-apportion the whole brain and its uses. For simplicity purposes I would just section it off into 4 quadrants or independent areas of thought.

Area one could control : Basic necessities: Food/ Shelter/Sex/ and a new BMW : The enjoyment and acquisition of. Thinking about getting this stuff occupies most of our thought anyway..

Area Two could control : Work: The thing we have to do to enjoy #1 (Monday thru Friday only)

Area Three could be in charge of: Fight or Flight….social behavior (who to kiss up to, etc)

Area Four would be the domain of : All other mental functions, instinctual actions, speech, etc…

There you have it…no wasted space, no excess or unused brain cells wasting away.

Anyway you look at it the human brain is a wonderful, complex, and intricate organ, weighing only around 3 pounds. It provides us with reasoning, as well as processing power and mental retention. No two individuals think the same, or have the exact same mental capabilities. But it seems like, at the end of the day, we may all be guilty of not over taxing our minds. I might write more about this latter ,but right now, I push’in my 20%, and I think I’m getting a headache…..Hey: “Use it ,or loose it”

P.I.B.

SMILE- YOUR ON CANDID CAMERA

SMILE- YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA

Its long been known that the government and more particularly the alphabet soup agencies (C.I.A, F.B.I., D.E.A and other assorted spooks) have had the use of advanced satellite picture technology, for some time now. Up until now it’s not been a hot topic of conversation, because quite frankly, the exact capabilities of the system, has been a matter of national security.

I don’t believe that many of our adversaries are still clueless about our ability to “zoom” in on their activities (that’s why many have resorted back to cave dwelling). We have aerial surveillance in the form of high flying aircraft, hand launched mini planes, and even pilot less drones. But the real workhorses are the new satellites in 24 hour geosynchronous orbit above the earth.

Most of this technology was developed by the government for military purposes, however they also rent time on a commercial satellites. Increasingly, the gap has been bridged to additional commercial use. (although, the government restricts the resolution and timeliness of the photo’s that can be used commercially). Most notable among these would be the GeoEye/Google earth satellite.

There are tons of legitimate uses for these hi-res pictures from space including mapping, exploration, storm tracking and research. We can measure ocean temperatures, crop growth, and even ice pack movements from space. The current resolution available for commercial use is 61 mm. Also, industry is prohibited from making recent or current photos available as well as photos of sensitive government and military areas, bases, etc. However the government user can purportedly zoom in to 10mm or less, making facial identification possible from the depth of space. Its said they can read a newspaper from orbit (might be cheaper to drop 50 cents in the newsbox) We’ve come a long way since the U-2 spy planes we once flew over Russia and the relatively crude photo intelligence available to us during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

My feeling is, like any great technology, this giant Kodak in the sky arrangement has the potential for misuse. It also seems like we always find a way to use new technology in some type of military application. As more and more government agencies get access to this technology I can see the IRS and local dog catcher getting in on the act. (Hey Mr, PoorItalianboy..we have irrefutable space photo evidence that your Doberman just took a dump on the city sidewalk. We are sending you a bill...Have a nice day).

Ok, I know you think I’m exaggerating, but where does this Peeping Tom stuff stop. Google Maps is also using this know how to add unprecedented detail to their road maps. They can layer road maps with satellite images and now add street level photos. I typed in my home address the other day and was able to zoom in on a rather current image of my own house. The image magnification and clarity was so advanced that I could not only see my garage door open, but also look inside. (so, if any of you readers wanted to see me pump’in out sets on my bowflex that is possible…its also know as an invasion of privacy). With the definition of: what a reasonable man would expect the general public not to see).

All kidding aside, I think we may be at the threshold of some major issues here. Has technology and the government’s need to know excerpted the citizen right for privacy ? Also, with this billion dollar technology available to the average Joe,(and the average Taliban Joe), at the click of a mouse, are we providing hi-tech intel and aid to those that might wish to harm us ? An even bigger question might be: “Just because we have a technology available to us, does that make its use moral, correct, or acceptable ?

My assumption would be that newer, more advanced and possibly more intrusive and invasive technologies are on the horizon. Does our very development of these new breakthroughs, authorize and condone our use of them ? If so, where do we stop ? To be honest with you, I thought our purpose for going into space was to look out, not to look in. Talk about the saying “ You can run, but you can’t hide”.
Smile, It’s a small world….. after all.

P.I.B.