DAILY NEWS 12/24/08

DAILY NEWS
“AS SEEN BY P.I.B.”

I’ve decided to add a new feature to my blog called: Daily News,( Actually it won’t be daily, it will be more like whenever I feel like reporting it) as seen by P.I.B. I feel compelled to add this feature for several reasons, not the least of which is because there is always something to write about.

Most writers worth their salt, can take a meaty subject and run with it, the problem is coming up with something interesting to write about. Here’s where the daily news comes into play. There is something always happening in the news. In fact, real life is often stranger than fiction (honest, I couldn’t make up half the stuff that happens on a daily basis worldwide).

I know, you are thinking, “If I want news, I’ll turn on CNN or Fox”.. Wrong, you want news in a entertaining format. Hence I.N.N. or “Italian News Network”. (I wanted P,I,B.N.N, or poor Italian Boy News Network, but it just didn’t fit with the whole 3 letter news format) Here at I.N.N. (not I.N.S.) you get news, as seen thru my eyes and warped sense of humor. The Beauty of it is, you know up front that I’m not going to be “Fair and Balanced”. Another plus, you have my word I also will not alter or dilute my editorial comments or contents; or bow to the wishes of large advertisers (until such time as I sign them on ..then I will suck up to them just like the big news channels do)

You know if this whole news anchor thing works out for me, I may even have to change the name of my Blog.. to “Ravings R.I.B”. (Rich Italian boy)..Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it ?

And Now Today’s news: (dateline 12/24/08) ..I always wanted to say that.:

Real Headlines and Real News from the P.I.B. newsroom

Headline: Amtrak train Passengers stranded for 23 hours.

Train passengers were stranded due to inclement weather for up to 23 hours in trains and cold waiting rooms with frozen toilets. Some had little food or water..

P.I.B. Commentary : I can’t picture my self stranded on a train for 23 hours. What were the buried in an avalanche in the Alps..I mean its not like you are on a boat at sea. Why didn’t they walk away, take a greyhound, sled dog, or something. As to the frozen toilets ..no wonder the trains were stranded, it seems the railroad hasn’t discovered heat and running water yet.. (also, anyone with a candle or Bick lighter could have defrosted the toilets and solved the water shortage

Headline: Scientists warn that Christmas lights harm the planet.

Scientists say that Christmas lights use a lot of power and cause emissions that harm the planet.

P.I.B. Commentary : I would have to say to the scientist involved ..”Get a life”, maybe you can get a grant to study the green house effect of leaving a night light on. Also, the same scientist was heard saying “the sky is falling, the sky is falling”

Remember: I couldn’t make this stuff up. That’s it for today from the P.I.B. news room…

FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME : POORITALIANBOY@GMAIL.COM

BREAKAWAY REPUBLIC

BREAKAWAY REPUBLIC

“Love it or leave it”…..The same advise I’d give you about your wife or your country.
Anyway, I got to thinking about this whole thing when Alex Baldwin, Cher, and a bunch of other actors began saying that, if their candidate didn’t get elected they would just as soon leave the country. I mean, these guys have a ton of money and they can pretty much live like a king anywhere they decide to go, but what about the rest of us. (we have feelings too, right ?)

Come to think of it, I’m not too excited about my property taxes, and I would have liked a bigger refund from I.R.S. last year, so what’s my remedy? This got me thinking about the whole idea of creating a breakaway republic. Just like the former Russian states, Czechoslovakia, and countless others, we could just part ways with the rest of the country. I could start a new utopia, a place where government served the people. ( a place with no taxes) A group of like -minded people could all create their own little country (kind’a like Monaco) and not have to toe the party line. It would be great, only people who thought and voted just like me would be allowed.

Since I live in Florida, that would be perfect.( I wouldn’t even have to move, or learn a new language) So, I drew up a petition for the State of Florida to secede from the Union. The sunshine state could easily stand alone. In fact, we could require a passport and charge an entry fee to every one driving in from Michigan, New York, and Canada. So, I drove around the state trying to get 500,000 signatures, to show the Feds I meant business. After a month or so,(and a lot of gas money) I decided to kind’a put that idea on the back burner. The concept was good, and I met a lot of nice people, but I fell a few signatures short ( about 499,998 to be exact...many thanks to the fellow sleeping under the bridge in Fort Myers)

Ok, I guess the whole Florida thing is off the table for now, so I focused my attention on the next most logical alternative. I rented a boat over in Fort Lauderdale and took a little cruise over to the Bahamas’. I was greeted there with great fan fair and after buying a straw hat and getting my hair braided at the dock, I spent the rest of the day talking to local officials. It turns out they are doing fine and really don’t want any more obnoxious Americans on their island. (Unless they come over by cruise boat and leave by 4pm each day).

Not one to be easily discouraged, I immediately went to my back up plan. Maybe I could rent some space from our neighbors to the north. (they have a bunch of space they are not using). The Canadians liked the idea (but said not to send anymore draft dodgers, or medical marijuana users their way) and offered to trade me equal space if I would throw the state of Florida into the deal, (because half of their citizens have a second home there anyway). I felt the deal was a little too rich for my liking, so I thanked them (had a few Molson’s, took in a hockey game) and left.

To be honest, I was kind of running out of ideas, until I took a little trip south of the border. Just south of the Rio Grand was the perfect spot, and the Mexican government couldn’t have been happier. I was offered a 99 year lease on a tract as big as Arizona, that we jointly decided to name “Tex-Mex”. It was only after I carefully read the fine terms of the lease that killed the deal. The wanted me to construct a giant wall along the entire southern border of the newly formed state, to keep the new residents from border jumping into Mexico. They also said they wanted to reclaim the land, any infrastructure or improvements, and have me throw in the State of Texas when the lease expired. (what’s fair is fair)

Well, after a lot of thought and soul search, I’ve decided that maybe it’s just going to be easier to work within the system that we already have in place. I may not agree with every politician that comes to power, and every new law that is put on the books; but after looking at the alternatives, we really have it pretty good here.
Please feel free to contact me at pooritalianboy@gmail.com
P.I.B.

THE PERFECT JOB

THE PERFECT JOB

If you are like me and 99% of the rest of us “ham and eggers”, you gott’a work for a living. It’s just not an option, it’s what I refer to as a “gott’a” (Italian for: No way around it). Ok, here’s how it goes. My Dad told me a long time ago. Son, I’m always here for you, but: Wanna eat… you gott’a work, wanta pay rent..gott’a work, want to drive a decent car…you guessed it..gott’a work. He said, work will make you stronger and give you character. If that’s the case I’d be Arnold Schwarzenegger by now.

Of course there are those lucky few, those “ain’t gotta’s” (Italian for: lucky bastards). Sometimes you just land in the right end of the gene’s pool. Maybe Daddy is a king, head of state, or has his own T.V. show called the Apprentice. Then you got it made: Want a new boat..”ain’t gott’a work”….got a hankering for a trip to Europe..you guessed it.. ”don’t want’a, ain’t gott’a, aren’t about to…you know…the “w” word..(can’t even bring themselves to say it..much less do it). There is a sub-set of the “ain’t gotta’s, that actually expend more energy avoiding work than it would take to actual do a job.(now that’s dedication)

For me, I’m just a poor Italian boy.(and damn proud of it) I am what I refer to as a “t/s”….don’t feel like getting up in the morning to go to work…”tough shit”…..don’t feel well today, like to just lay around and feel sorry for myself…you guessed it.. “tough shit”…..gotta go baby….no two ways about it……I’ve had good jobs and bad jobs, but either way, not working has never been an option for me.

Ok, so we’ve established that most of us have to work. And believe me, there is nothing wrong with good old fashioned work. Work gives us structure and meaning in our lives, and it really doesn’t matter if we are milking cows or sitting at a computer all day. That being the case, I guess the next best thing would be to enjoy/love your job. I’ve heard it said that if you love your job you will never have to “work” another day in your life (cute little saying, but bullshit...where do I line up for the never have to work another day in my life deal).

Work is work, hence the name, otherwise they would call it play, enjoyment, or golf. (see you tonight honey, when I get back from a full 12 hour day of enjoyment) Some people do, some don’t..but I can’t help but think about what would be the perfect job. Let’s see..First of all there would be no alarm clocks to set for my perfect job. Then I would have to make a ton of cash, have fun, be around people that I enjoy, and be free to come and go whenever I please. (can’t I just marry into a job like that) And just in case you think I’m insensitive, I’ll add in: helping people.

Everybody says they work hard and have it rough. But can that really be true ? For the most part Americans love to complain about their jobs and their bosses, it’s almost a national pastime. (could be a new hit T.V. game/reality show..”My Boss is more of a jerk than Your Boss”..with Simon Cowell as the judge) I can tell you for a fact that people from many third world countries wouldn’t even consider what we do as work. (anything high, dry, and air conditioned, that doesn’t involve a machete; and can be done in a 40 hour work week can’t be real work) If I had to go out on a limb here, I’d say most of us are a little bit spoiled. In fact, I’m not even sure that people who have the perfect cushy job even realize it. If we had to rate people jobs on some sort of scale wouldn’t some be just a little easier and enjoyable than others.(if not perfect)

For instance ,I hear actors saying all the time how hard they have it and how much work it is.(when they are not in re-hab, or divorce court) Give me a break, lets put it on the Perfect Job rating system. Hummm…

How does it pay 20 million for 3 months Sounds Acceptable
Work environment Travel to exotic places Tough but doable
Work associates Beautiful people/hot actresses OHH..the sacrifices
Recognition for work Known world wide Better than employee of the month
Longevity Work till you drop Hey, you are not exactly lifting

heavy objects all day


Overall I think its human nature to compare ourselves with others. I think there is a tendency to view other peoples jobs as easier or more desirable, while at the same time they may assume that our job is actually a piece of cake. (the old grass is greener on the other side of the time clock) Some people assume that you have the perfect job if you are “fortunate” enough to be the manager, boss, or owner of your own business. Little do they know that even those roles carry a certain burden with them. I can tell you for a fact that being the boss in itself does not make the perfect job. So, at the end of the day, maybe there are no perfect jobs, or maybe every job has the potential to be the perfect job. In fact, when I think about it, I may just have the perfect job.(with or without a machete) A lot of it just comes down to attitude. I guess, just like most things in life, it’s what you make of it.

P.I.B.

IDENTITY THEFT

IDENTITY THEFT

To start with, when you are an Italian boy from New Jersey, the concept of theft is not foreign to you. In my life, I have witnessed and been the victim of many types of theft. I hate to admit it, but when I was a kid I actually stole a pack of baseball cards from a small store. Of course when my dad found out the same day, I was back in the store with a full apology, the money for the cards, and a very sore backside. I learned a painful lesson early on.. “crime doesn’t pay”

In general, theft seems more rampant today, then it did when I was a kid. Back then it seemed real theft or, grand theft, was reserved for the pros, the mob, and the gangs. Today, theft is rampant in all socio-economic sectors of our society. Some do it for the money, some for the thrill, and some to pay for drugs. (some do it for a living..even in politics) Anyway you look at it theft is wrong. It unjustly deprives someone of their rightful belongings.

There is petty theft, industrial theft, car theft, grand theft, home invasion, auto theft(over 1 million), and countless other injustices. One of the most common forms of theft today is identity theft (just look up theft in google and see what comes up). Authorities are calling it an epidemic, effecting over 10 million people a year, and the fastest growing crime in the country. It is white collar theft, for people who don’t want to break into houses, banks, and cars at night. There are even commercials on T.V., from companies whose sole business is protecting your identity. I guess you can never be too careful. I have locks on all my doors, an alarm system, I park my car in the garage, bought two Dobermans, and wear one of those steel chain deals on my wallet, and now… I have to worry about my identity being stolen ? Give me a break, What’s next?

Credit car theft seems to be one of the biggest targets in the identity theft game. I know its getting bad because every time I go to use my credit card they have to call the credit card company to grill me on the phone. Even my own mom makes me answer her three security questions before she will talk to me on the phone.

Wow…with everything I have to worry about, now I have to protect my identity. I’m not even sure why anyone would want to be me. That’s all I need right now, is a posse of counterfeit Poor Italian Boys out there. (pretenders..and wanta be P.I.B.’s) And why, its not very glamorous to be me. There are days where I’m not even sure I want to be me. I mean you would think they would want to steal the identity of some rich movie star.. Stealing my identity is like stealing a Volkswagon. I would think any decent criminal would want to steal an important guy’s identity. (so much for taste) Yet the guy on T.V. says to protect my identity, so I better take heed.

I’m no fool, now that I’ve been warned about this whole identity theft thing, I’ve taken some immediate precautions to make sure I don’t fall victim to it. For starters, I went out and bought a long hair wig, along with a pair of those fake glasses with the plastic nose attached. Next I decided to change my name from P.I.B. (Poor Italian Boy)..to P.I.B. (Poor Iraqi Boy)..that should throw those would be thieves a curve ball. To really throw them off their game…I’m thinking about using a fake British accent on the phone, so that the “evildoers” won’t be able to know its me..when they “ring me up on the tele”. I’ve even snapped one of those bullet proof master locks on my trash cans and mail box to make sure I’m not the victim of prying eyes and dumpster diving (ps…if you do this, remember to give the garbage man and mailman a key…I haven’t had any mail or garbage pick up in a month).

I’m also told I have to be careful when I’m using my computer on the internet. Savvy would be computer thieves are “phishing” to criminally acquire my sensitive information. If I catch them I will stick my “phsoot where the phsun don’t phsine ”.They will send you an official looking e-mail or form asking you for security purposes to verify your bank account or social security number.

I’m also wondering if I can turn the tables on these identity thieves (or: future America’s most wanted stars)…if they steal my identity, then can I forward all my collection, stockbroker, and donations calls, along with my gambling debts over to them also. You never know… They may end up wishing they were not me…

B.I.P. (that’s P.I.B. encrypted)

WORDS

WORDS
One of the things that sets humans apart from other species is our ability to communicate with each other. Words, weather written or oral, are the vehicle we use to convey our thoughts. Words are little more than mental pictures that express our thoughts, emotions, and desires. I’ve always been interested in language and communication. Etymology is the study of the history of words.
When I say the word car, your mind quickly (or not so quickly) associates it with your mental image of a car. If I choose my words incorrectly, or don’t use enough detail, sometimes my mental image and your mental image are different. However if I say a Brand new red metallic 2008 Chevy Corvette Convertible, we are more likely to picture the same mental image (except in my mental image ..I am driving with the top down, sunglasses on, hundred dollar bills in my shirt pocket and the radio blast’in)
I’m not quite sure how words as we know them developed. It is said that Shakespeare coined over 1600 new words (a true wordsmith) Certainly the dictionary points to many origins from the early Greeks, but what about before that. At some point, somebody had to look at a rock and utter a sound they decide should be forever associated with it.(rock..from the cavemen “rauk”) and once that big hairy son of a gun called it that, he would kick your ass if you tried to call it anything else.
I kind’a wish I would have gotten in on that deal, I mean, you could never be wrong.(even though today I’m still making up new words ..not to mention spellings). It seems like most of the good words have already been taken. I’m not even sure you could even stutter back then. ( I mean, that would just be considered another word). I guess the whole lexicon was a lot simpler back then also.
Let’s face it they had no airplanes, skyscrapers, or Mcdonald’s to articulate about. If you had a basic command of the words: rock, club, food, and fire you were pretty much a linguistic genius. (oh..one other key phrase, useful for survival back then…… “Run..really big hungry dinosaur coming”
It also makes me wonder how certain words became curse words or 4 letter words. If I had to guess I would think they originated when the first caveman hit his finger with the first cave-club. Wow, that hurt like a *$$**@@@. Others say they were part of a prayer wishing ill on someone you hated and later reinforced by government censorship. They are still just words.(sticks and stones can break my bones but..words will never hurt me)
Of course, none of this addresses the fact that each country or continent seems to have evolved their own unique dialect or language. What made one group of people call it a rock, another a roca, and still another a roche, yet across the world its referred to as 岩石.(hope I used the translator right on that one)
Some estimates point to over 7,000 languages and dialects, that sometimes share common words. Linguists point to some words in several languages, they refer to as cognates, that descend from the same ancestral root word.
But it seems like we got a little lazy after a while and just started adding a prefix or suffix to common words to create new words or just extend the meaning of the base word. You know adding a few letters and getting scrabble 20 point words. Endings like –ism, ist, ite, logy. Now I take a 6 point word like terror and make it ..terrorism, social and make it socialist, or cardio and make it cardiology.
Words and language are an efficient communication tool. Depending on our skill with words, we can express simple, very complex, and even abstract ideas and concepts. Some of us use our words sparingly to express our thoughts and others are quite verbose. It is estimated that there are over 1 million words and their derivatives in the English language alone.
The average educated adult has a vocabulary of around 20,000 words, that leaves a lot of unspoken words. ( Note: although I’m normally quite loquacious ..it is said that I have a vocabulary of less than 6 words, before I have my first cup of coffee in the morning) It seems that education level and how much and individual reads are the two greatest determining factors in the level of an individuals vocabulary.
Well I could go on forever..but I like to think of myself man of few words…?
P.I.B.

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

Money, everybody needs it. We work for it, we save it, we spend it. There never seems to be enough of it. And for some, it seems to come a lot easier than others.

The bible says, the love of money is the root of all evil. Money is nothing more than a store of wealth. It has taken on many forms over the years and around the world. From shells (wampum…how much for Long Island..keep the change), to Gold and silver, and then coins made of these metals. As time went on the actual precious metal content of these coins decreased, replaced by a less valuable substitute. Coins were followed by paper bills that represented actual supplies of gold and silver(demand notes), that you could hypothetically turn in for actual silver or gold.(secreted away in the vaults of Fort Knox)

From demand notes we moved to largely worthless pieces of paper or “fiat money” (I wonder if that means Fiat makes it….no actually its money that is not backed by reserves of another commodity ) that represent value.(what’s know in the let’s pretend world as “legal tender”.)

Of course only the government and the federal reserve can print money (legally, that is). I love that, Abracadabra…wam bam. .this piece of paper and ink is now a hundred dollar bill. What a gimmick, I wish I could get in on that action. Little low on dough, short on the rent, car payment due, or just need more jack, ..no problemo…just crank up the old printing press and let ‘er roll.

I for one, will be glad to see paper money and coins go the way of the dinosaurs. Who wants to carry around soiled pieces of paper that have touched thousands of hands and, who knows what else. Not only that, a penny, a quarter, a dollar, really don’t even buy anything anymore. You gott’a carry around a stack of them just to buy a gallon of gas.

I guess as a form of payment goes, the whole money thing is more efficient than the old barter system. I mean, could you just see the mess at the toll booth on the interstate, with all the guys outside their little booths getting haircuts, shoe shines, backrubs, dental care and who knows what else. (sometimes I think some of that is going on now, when I’m stuck 20 cars back in the toll line)

We then moved into the electronic money era with paper checks. Now, this was about as close as I got to printing my own money. You can write a check, float a check, stop a check, mail a check.(the check is in the mail) The beauty of the thing is, the poor fellow you issued it do, never quite knew if it was good until after the transaction. “How much is that house my man…an entirely fair price…I will just stroke you a check…by the way, how do you spell Million.. Anyway, it was just too much paper to move around, process, and account for.

Most recently there is a trend that even our old faithful paper money and checks are falling into disuse, as the plastic credit card is now widely used. I’ve got the gold card, the silver card, the platinum card, and the black card…but the truth be known, its still just a piece of plastic. Just a quick swipe and you are on your way, what could be easier. (note: women are particularly adept at this swiping maneuver, they seem to do it with such speed and flourish). But its just a little piece of plastic, you say…but that’s ok..as long as we all believe its money.

This ushered in the age of plastic. As good as credit cards are, they say that our plastic will soon be a thing of the past also, as we get a chip embedded under our skin that uses RFID or Radio Frequency Identification Technology to issue our payments as we walk past
scanners in grocery stores. The downside is, there goes your privacy. Big Brother will know every move you make.

The new money will be entirely electronic, and at that point I see us going to “OWC”..or One World Currency. The other by product of the electronic and instantaneous money will be “no Float”. The instant you make a transaction, and your account is accessed….say bye-by…your funds are gone.

So basically what it comes down to is: money is what we all believe money is. (or money is what money does) It represents a store of value, that other members of society acknowledge as a medium of trade. It also represents our knowledge, our labor, and our savings. I’m thinking of starting my own underground economy, if I can just convince everyone else that my collection of baseball cards are money

P.I.B.

THE WAR NO ONE WANTS

THE WAR NO ONE WANTS

(Author’s note: No matter what side of this issue you fall on, no one wants this war. However, the story below represents a “likely” scenario.)

We’ve been training out in the desert for 6 months now. Boredom and monotony are punctuated with urgent and realistic drills. They never really tell us if we are being called into action or is this just another training maneuver. I really can’t complain because I volunteered for this mission. We were told at the start that our success would be vital for the survival of my people.

Over and over, we have practiced negotiating the desert terrain in almost complete darkness, training for a mission we all hoped would never be put into action. Our role was to make a stealthy entry into enemy territory and locate key defense fortifications, determine troop strength, locate weapons production facilities, and missile sites.

Today, we are called into readiness and told, “this is not a drill”. I take a short helicopter ride back to Tel Aviv for an important briefing. It seems our intelligence people (among the best in the world) have conclusive evidence that the Iranians are now producing nuclear weapons. They have been allowed to continue their nuclear development program under the guise that it was for peaceful use in power generation. Now, even the passive and largely inept Nuclear Regulatory Committee has acknowledged that the Iranian program is very suspect.

The Israeli people do not want war, we are a peaceful people, however, our tiny nation is surrounded by countries that choose to deny us our very existence. The rhetoric lately has reached a feverish pitch, as leaders of foreign governments swear to “wipe us off the map” or “push us into the sea”. These are threats that we do not take lightly. Our history dictates that we face these threats or suffer unacceptable consequences. If these madmen are allowed to develop and posses nuclear weapons, our chances of defending our nation are seriously compromised. I hope the rest of the world understands that waiting is a risk we can not afford to take.

Several times in the past we have acted preemptively and aggressively against foreign powers, when we felt our national security was at stake. A small country like Israel can not afford to rely on a purely defensive posture. In our preemptive strikes against Iraq and Syria, we risked the wrath of global opinion and condemnation. Fortunately we consider global opinion a distant second to national security in our planning. Afterward diplomats from many countries, even those that are friendly to us, were speaking out against our actions. The truth is, that many of those same foreign leaders knew of our actions in advance, and secretly aided us in our efforts. I asked myself if the other world powers would turn against us if we act first again this time, but I console myself with the fact that I am just a soldier. The protection of my country and my people are paramount to me.

In any case, the prime minister has determined that we must strike first and we must strike now. It has also been determined that my small group of IDF special forces will be the tip of the spear, we are to ordered to be ready to deploy within 24 hours. It is made known to me that the Americans have knowledge of our plan and will “turn their back” and open a land and air corridor thru the Iraqi territory that they occupy for our planes and troops.

Because of our history of “first attack”, our targets have been hardened and our adversaries are on alert for our possible attack. The facilities we are going after have been embedded deep in the earth, covered by tons of concrete and protected by batteries of anti aircraft instillations. We are also faced with the formidable task of simultaneously taking out several production facilities scattered about the country. Logistically, this is much more distant and difficult than our previously successful missions. Fortunately we already have operators and agents on the ground providing us valuable real time intelligence. Every day we wait to react now, only lessens our chance of success.

Our goal will be to so damage these facilities as to negate their ability to produce weapon grade material, and set back their progress a dozen years or so. Unfortunately, now that this horrible technology exists, we can no longer “put the genie back in the bottle”

I am told that our government has authorized the use of force, using any and all means at our disposal to accomplish this mission. That is military speak for all out war and even the use of the terrible weapons that our country has at it’s disposal. This was not a decision that was made lightly, and we are all convinced that our success is a matter of national survival.

Our military has been war planning for this strike for several years now, but we have delayed taking action. We have waited at the urging of the United States, and have pursued every diplomatic channel. Many say we have waited too long. We have run thru every possible variation of the attack, carefully weighing the effects on both Israel and the entire Middle East.

Our planners were 100% correct in assuming that the Syrians would not retaliate after we bombed their secret Korean inspired nuclear facility in the desert, in fact they quietly buried the remains to hide them from satellite view. We have no such delusions this time around. For starters Iran has one of the largest and most well equipped armies in the world, and we consider a counter attack eminent.

A counter attack would immediately escalate the incident into an all out regional war. We are confident that we would face missile strikes and troop incursions on at least two fronts. We anticipate that Syrians, and their clients Hamas and Hezbollah would quickly join the battle. We feel confident that the U.S. would then be forced into the battle, despite being seriously over extended in Iran and Afghanistan. American troops in Iraq would be overrun by both Iranian troops and rebels sympathetic to the Iranian cause thought the region. There is also a high likelihood that other more moderate Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia, and Egypt would be under great pressure to join the cause of their Muslim brothers, and if they did not act, face a possible uprising by their own people. It’s possible that even some previously Russian countries could be drawn in, due to economic and military interests in Iran.

In short we feel this war would be the greatest threat to the existence of our people and our nation that we have ever faced. Faced with overwhelming odds, we would almost certainly have to use our weapons of last resort, including those that we have historically denied as ever possessing. As a lowly solider I do not know the extent of our weapons stockpile, but it is generally acknowledged as now exceeding even the capabilities of the British. We also have land based, and sea based delivery platforms, as well as the very formidable Israeli air force option.

Our estimates show that we could lose almost a million Israeli soldiers and citizens in such a strike and counter strike scenario, offset by enemy losses numbering almost 20 million. There is no question that this battle will be of Biblical proportions.

The time is at hand, I can only hope and pray for a last minute diplomatic solution, or that our enemies will find their potential losses too high a price to pay. As for myself and every Israeli, we will gladly give our lives as many of our brave countrymen thru out history have done before us, to insure the life of our country. I pray that, God, once again will allow us to defeat our adversaries.

P.I.B.

CHANGE IS IN THE AIR

CHANGE IS IN THE AIR
For all the bad news on the world wide political scene, I think some good news may be on the horizon. Yes, political change is in the air. Just like the chain of events that lead to the eventual breakup of the old U.S.S.R. , I feel we are on the brink of change in several areas of the world.
Some change cannot be brought about by a wishful foreign government, or weapons. Some change must come by waiting and from within, especially in very restrictive countries where descent and the will of the people are suppressed (often brutally). In many cases this undercurrent will run just below the surface for years, even decades, before erupting.
One of the problems is that repressive governments tend to shelter and suppress the dissident news and events that happen internally. The brave students and patriots that speak and act out against these dictatorships often put their very lives on the line. As a world observer you have to read past the state approved headlines, party spin, and edited stories. You also must assume that our CIA is lending financial support to these dissidents, when it’s to the best interest of the United States. I clearly see the seeds of Freedom beginning to grow in Taiwan, China, Iran, and closest to home Cuba.
The subject of Cuba is an important one to me. Especially being a Floridian, with the island of Cuba, a scant 90 miles from our shores. I remember in my lifetime the Cuban missile crisis, the Mariel boat lift, and the ill fated Bay of Pigs. The Cuban’s that have made our country their home, have contributed their skills, their passions, and their sense of family.(not to mention their food and cigar skills in Tampa’s Ybor city)
The U.S. has had a long a varied relationship with the people of Cuba. It’s also unusual that we actual have a U.S. base on the island, despite our limited formal diplomatic relations. The military base is an anomaly, brought about by a 1903 treaty granting the U.S. a perpetual lease for the land at Guantanamo Bay, to be used as a Naval Coaling Station (don’t think we have any coal driven Navel ships anymore).
At one time before the corrupt but sympathetic Cuban leader Batista was taken out of power by Castro’s revolution, the U.S. had many interests in the island. Many American industrialists like the Hershey (yes, the guy with the chocolate company) had substantial homes and plantations on the island. They also made significant investments into the infrastructure on the island. These were the hay days of Cuba, when it enjoyed trade, tourism, and its businesses, nightclubs, cigars, and casinos, were among the world’s best.
The Cuban leader Castro has clung to power, thru the administrations of several U.S. presidents, since his ouster of Batista in 1959 as still remains in a position to call the shots even though he handed power to his aging brother in February of 2008.
I think the time is ripe in Cuba and other areas of the world for a historic change. I welcome the opportunity for ourselves and the wonder people of Cuba. Of course only time will tell.
P.I.B.

CROP CIRCLES

CROP CIRCLES
Alright, I’ll admit I’m on the fence on this one, but crop circles? Just last week on the news there was another incident right here in the United States. Same scenario as all the others. The farmer wakes up and looks into his field and presto, an incredibly intricate and beautiful geometric pattern has appeared in his previously lush crop field.
The farmer and his neighbors insists that they heard no noise, saw no lights and report no other damage to the surrounding land. In short a miracle. To add to the mystery, these events have occurred all over the world.
Now there are only 2 logical assumptions, as to what may be transpiring here. Either some local misfits from the geometry club are playing a prank, or some alien life force is trying to communicate with us. Either way, it would be hard to argue about the grandeur of the results. The complex and perfectly symmetrical crop circles are a sight to behold.
Ok, let’s go with theory # 1 first. Jeb and the college buddies surreptitiously sneak into the field in the middle of the night with a U-Haul full of equipment. They mobilize a small army equipped with chain saws, snow shoes, some trained beavers, and a dozen or so John Deere mowers. They work all night carefully laying down the stalks of corn, with almost military precision. This carefully choreographed piece of work is always finished by first light(no union breaks) and none of the surrounding field shows any sign of activity, ingress or egress. And if that’s the case I wonder if Jeb’s forefathers were pulling the same prank back in 200 B.C., when similar perfectly engineered yet unexplained lines (Nazca Lines) were etched into solid rock in Peru, that were visible from space.
Well, that leaves theory#2….The earth gets visited by some nocturnal space visitors. These guys fly over the field and using microwave or some other energy source turn the crops into some kind of space age etcha-skeatcher. Of course I would have to ask myself…If I had the technological skill to build a space craft, travel millions of miles, and elude all of earth’s radars and detection abilities, why would I want to screw around with some poor farmers in Idaho.
I don’t want to go star Trek on you here, but what if the designs in the crop circles are a way to communicate. Given that there might be a language difference and their Spanish may be a little rusty, mathematical or geometric symbolism might be the closest common bridge of understanding.
Personally I don’t know why they wouldn’t just take out an ad in the Wall Street journal, land on the 50 yard line at the superbowl, or leave us a note on the back of a cocktail napkin. I mean if, Oshma Bin Laden can communicate with us and sneak a video, out of some cave in Pakistan three of 4 times a year, I’m sure this advanced culture can call 911 or something.
Of course, maybe we just don’t want to hear them knocking. That would mean that we are not the sole life form and purpose of the entire universe. Some scientist estimate that there may be between 100 and 500 billion planets…but I’m sure we are the only intelligent life out there.(if I not mistaken..the lottery has better odds than that) Worse yet, maybe we are not the highest, best and most intelligent life form in the universe. Well, just because we don’t want to believe it, doesn’t necessarily make it untrue.
Live Long and Prosper…..
P.I.B.

WHO WOULD I VOTE FOR

WHO WOULD I VOTE FOR
The presidential elections are right around the corner and talk of politics is on everyone’s minds. I’ve had friends ask me recently..Who would you vote for?
As far as I’m concerned I vote for the quality of the person. I don’t really care about the party affiliation, religion, gender, or race. What I’m interested in is…can I trust the person, and does he/she have the ability to do the job. Can the individual display loyalty, leadership, courage, and good decision making. I want to know how they react under pressure or fire. Will he/she face or run from danger or controversy. Would he or she be willing to put lives, even his own life on the line for our country.
I may be wrong but my thinking is that it’s easier to learn the political side of the job than to grow a backbone, or develop strong moral direction. I also want to know what life experiences the candidates have had to test their metal, what adversities have they overcome.
When it comes down to it and the president has to make a decision, that only the president can make, I want a guy with honor and integrity. At that moment, law degrees, popularity, and a great haircut don’t mean a thing. The president must be among the best that America has to offer.
I’m reminded of a story that exemplifies these very traits:
It was a pitch dark night, looking out into nothingness. It’s the kind of night that you might only know if you were out in a small boat, miles from any light of land. There in the dead quiet you could hear the sound of the waves lapping up against the hull of the wooden boat. It was evident that she was built for speed and not comfort or strength.
It must have been hard for the young skipper and crew to have remained focused, while being lulled by the long dark night. Suddenly hours of boredom turned to shear panic as another ship steamed towards the small boat. There was no time to get out of the way, and the collision ripped the plywood boat completely in half.
The skipper surveyed the damage and gathered the survivors, with little more than a few life jackets and a lantern and made the decision to try and swim for a small nearby island. Soon the effects of the collision and hours in the water took its toll on the will and bodies of the small group of men. Some wanted to just give up, but the strength and determination of the skipper gave them hope, as he literally pulled some of them along behind him. Hours later the exhausted group reached the safety of a small island, but only after being cut to shreds by the coral reef that guarded its shores.
As welcome as the feeling of land was, the skipper knew his men needed water, food and medical attention and he knew that no one would find them on the island in time. As daunting and treacherous as the ordeal was to reach the island, he decided the only way to save his men was to swim back out to the shipping channel with the small lantern, in hopes of signaling a rescue boat. I can’t imagine the strength it took to swim back alone, in the dark, against powerful currents, out in shark infested waters, so far from home.
The ordeal went on for some time, island after island, one futile attempt after another, draining the strength and will from each of the survivors, until by chance some friendly locals helped bring them to safety.
Who would get my vote for president. A man with the heart, strength, and values, like the skipper of that boat, except I was not able to vote for him, you see, he was tragically killed while I was still a young boy. . The story above happened in 1943, the place..south pacific..the boat PT109, the man..naval officer John F Kennedy, and latter our 35th president.
P.I.B.

GYM RATS

GYM RATS

One of my favorite pastimes is a good work out in the gym. I’ve been going for years now and still enjoy hitting the gym 3 or 4 days a week. I’m not the kind’a guy that goes there to socialize and spend the entire day. I want to get in there, catch my workout, and get out.

I’ve even purposely moved my membership to a smaller and less crowded facility, because I don’t have any patients for what I call the gym rats.

It seems like almost every gym I’ve belonged to or utilized on a trip has the same types of people as members. Here is a list of the major categories (of course there are sub categories also)

The Prema donna: Male or Female: these are the beautiful people, they are well groomed and wear only high fashioned workout gear, that shouts (heh..look at me). I’ve occasionally seen them actually pick up a weight, but for the most part they are content to talk and allow others to see them in work-out like poses.

The Grunts: These physical specimens are either bodybuilders or serious steroid users. They walk around the gym with head phones on, in a constant state of roid rage. They rarely stray very far from the nearest mirror, so they can constantly admire their own bodies. They often lift immense weights but even on light days they make sure their straining sounds and moans are heard across the gym. They are known to liberally dust themselves and their immediate areas with large quantities of caulk dust. Stay out of their way, when they are lifting, or strutting around the gym, with their chest all bowed up.

The Talkers: These guys/girls…really bug me. They hover around a piece of equipment, (monopolizing it) often with their leg up on it, but never seem to use the darn thing. They float from one conversation to the other, and will engage in a lengthy talk with any man, women, or child that happens by.

The Homesteaders: These guys are easily recognizable due to the fact that they seem to “move-in” when using a piece of equipment. They generally spread out all their wares in a 20’ radius (it must be some kind of territorial thing). Among the debris you will usually find: their gym bag, one gallon water jug, beach towel, some type of tuba ware container with foul smelling tuna, a protein drink, their cell phone, wrist wraps, knee brace, and ipod. You might as well move on to the next work station, rather than wait on one of these guys.

The Rester: The rester will actually pump out a good set or two of repetitions but then feel the need to let the entire gym see how truly exhausted they are from their efforts. They will often be found laying prone on the floor, bench, or seat of the equipment and will sometimes mimic the Grunts by making loud noises so that everyone can truly appreciate just how tired and exhausted the are from their last set.

The Walkers: the walkers are a breed that never actually work out. They roam from one side of the gym to the other, and can often be seen analyzing a piece of equipment as if about to use it, but then change their mind and move on to the next station ..often on the other side of the gym.

The Sweater: Hey..everyone perspires when they push their bodies to hard physical exercise, but the sweater takes it to the extreme. From the moment they walk out of the locker room, their work out attire is drenched with sweat. You can easily recognize the sweater, as the humidity in the room actually goes up. You can also tell when you are getting closer to a sweater because the carpet will start getting soggy and each piece of equipment you try to use will have a small pond of water left behind. Caution, the sweater can propel an airborne mist in your direction if you get too close.

The Piglet: Can me male or female: The piglet has the same unwashed workout outfit on since he joined the gym 16 months ago. The piglet also is identified by his propensity to leave all the weights on each machine as he moves about the gym for the 70 year old lady that wants to use the equipment next.

Well, there are other species and sub species of gym rats, but these are the most common ones encountered. If there wasn’t such great people watching at the gym, I think I’d just buy a bow flex machine and work out in my garage.

P.I.B.

THE PRICE ONCE PAID

THE PRICE ONCE PAID

The sound of sirens pierced the early morning quiet, reminding me it would soon be dawn. My body was totally exhausted after running all night, I wished I was safe at home. Maybe I should have just kept quiet and not joined the others, as my family had urged me to do.

It’s too late now, I followed my heart, I’m sure my father would be proud of me. It’s first light now and I can hear the sounds of the search teams and their dogs, closing in on me. They had been on my trail since last night, when they broke up our protest march. The police used their new right of search and seizure to get our secret list of names.

Fear does strange things to a man. I watched helplessly as the dogs tore at the clothing of my fellow dissidents only a hundred feet away. I feel like a coward, what kind of man would stand ideally by, while his two closest friends were being dragged off. And yet, I didn’t make a sound. I laid motionless in the high grass as the two agents passed within a few feet of me.

I never thought I’d be a wanted man on the run, a yet I find myself hiding from the authorities here, in my own neighborhood. It’s only been a few months since the election and already our remaining rights are being stripped from us. They keep saying it’s necessary, and for the good of the country.
They keep telling everyone, don’t worry, we know what they are doing. The average citizen just does not have enough information to make an informed decision. Let them do their job…trust them, they know what’s best for us.

It hasn’t always been this way. When I was growing up, my father warned me about this, but I wouldn’t listen, I knew all the answers. We spent many hours talking about politics and the history of our great country. He spoke of the wars and sacrifices that made our nation great. He instilled in me the principles that the founding fathers, risked so much for. But also, in his long life, he watched as the people lost one right after the other, in a slow and insidious pattern. These once firmly ensconced rights, dissolved over time, not by war or foreign power, no..it was much more insidious than that.. it was due to our own indifference and apathy.

Dad, felt the turning point was the presidential elections of 2008. The electorate had been increasingly divided and apathetic. The politicians couched their real ambitions for the direction they wanted to take the country in. And now, only 32 years latter, in the first election without a popular vote, the super delegates have ushered the social-isolationist party into power.

I need to wait here until dark again and then try to re-group with my fellow freedom fighters. It’s illegal now for us to gather and discuss ideas that are contrary to the party line, I could pay with my life. Somehow it seems wrong that we have to pay again for the freedom that our forefathers had already sacrificed so much for. But, we let the freedom slip thru our fingers ..Never again, I swear….Never again

“THE PRICE OF FREEDOM IS ETERNAL VIGILANCE”


Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
Ronald Reagan

Minute man P.I.B.

ELECT ME..PLEASE

ELECT ME…PLEASE

Can a poor man ever be elected president in this country? I mean, if there was a potential candidate that was head and shoulders above the others aspiring for the office, would he have a chance. (my Mom, once told me I would)

I just read an article the other day that pointed out that the presidential hopefuls have already spent over $800 million, and the front runners will most likely spend over $500 million each, before they are done. (and that doesn’t even include the cost of re-doing the Florida and Michigan elections)

Maybe it’s just because I’m just a poor Italian boy, but that sounds like a whole lot of money, and it represents only the race for president. If you add In the cost of funding the election process for senators, congress people, governors, state and local officials and dog catchers…the cost exceeds the gross national product of several small countries.

With the entire U.S. population at 303,824,646 &1/2, (my niece is pregnant) that amounts to a healthy contribution by every man, women, and child in the U.S.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the election process. (and Wolf Blitzer, certainly needs the work) Anyway you cut it, the way we have devised to determine who sits in positions of power, is head and shoulders better than how most countries handle it..(I can’t tell you how much a coup or a revolution costs). I’m just saying, maybe we could look into a few ways to do it a little cheaper and perhaps not drag it out for months and years at a time. (maybe we could use all those hundreds of millions to feed and educate some of the electorate, so that some poor kid could grow up to be president one day) So, I took the initiative, and I had a couple of friends over for some beers, and we came up with a few ideas: using the A.I.L. method of reasoning… (or Alcohol Induced Logic)


Ok, here we go:

1> Both parties nominate a candidate and we make them spend a long weekend at camp David together,(separate rooms of course) after which, they decide who is the top banana for the first two years, and then it’s the other guys turn.


2> The M/W/F..method..that’s right….Monday, Wensday, Friday…..its kind of like being king for a day. And the guy with the worst popularity rating has to work weekends. Every third Friday…we let Dennis Kucinich sit in the Big chair for the day…(hey..it’s as close as he’ll ever get to it)

3> We set up 1 chair in the middle of the Oval office, and play “Hail to the Chief” ….when the music stops, the guy in the chair is the POTUS(president of the United States)

4> MMA method ( That’s Mixed martial arts)…you set up this caged ring, and let the two guys (or girls) go at it (mano e mano)…It’s my two men walk in..One man walks out theory….My money is on Hillary for this one… ( we could pay down the national debt, just on the revenue from the Ticketmaster sales)

5> Last but not least….we settle the whole thing on a two hour special of “The Celebrity Apprentice Show”….at the end of the night, the Donald, tells the looser…”Your Fired”. I’m not sure how constitutionally correct that would be, but I guarantee great ratings

Ok, so maybe you don’t like my alternative election rules…(even though I would save the country hundreds of millions) but stayed tuned, because at next week’s beer actuated “Think-Tank”..me and the boys will be pondering and solving other worldly issues such as the whole NAFDA controversy, and Bud..or Bud Lite..

Until latter
P.I.B. (for president)

THEATRE OF THE MIND

THEATRE OF THE MIND

My ears were still ringing from the echo of the gunshots as I pulled the door of the supply room closed behind me. As I sat there, frozen with fear in the darkness, I could hear angry voices, heavy footsteps, and the sound of spent brass from the bullets getting ever closer. My fear turned to panic, as I heard the sound of one door lock after another being tested in the hallway, each followed by a crash, as it was being kicked open.

I laid, for what seemed like an eternity, trembling behind a few empty boxes. Hoping that this nightmare would soon be over. I tried not to move, I felt helpless. For a moment, I was certain that the sound of my own breathing or heartbeat would give me away….
I tried to hold my breath as I sensed the door handle beginning to move. I fumbled in the darkness, looking for some type of weapon to protect myself. I could see the outline of the gunman’s boots, backlit by the hallway lights, under the door. I jumped as another shot rang out. I thought it was all over for me.
Seconds later my hands were wet with blood that was now flowing under the door. “Police ….everyone stay down.”

When I was a kid, I can still remember sitting in the car or around the radio listening to entertaining shows. They had some great actors, vivid sound effects, and we had to use a little imagination.
Your own vivid imagination, would build the scene, and fill in the details. Perhaps no two people would envision it exactly the same way. The mental pictures that were painted were referred to as “theatre of the mind”.
Today…I wonder if most people’s theatre’s are working. You know what I mean..No one on the projection booth. I’m not even sure a lot of folks are having a matinee. No one wants to take the time to read or use their imagination anymore. We are used to having everything laid out for us in half hour sitcoms, they even tell us when to laugh by playing their “canned” laughter.
So, I’ve decided that instead of writing this blog, I’m going to film myself reading my material on video. I’m thinking, I sit in a big leather chair, smoking a pipe, and look smug. I also ordered some of those pink silk jammies, and a smoking jacket (like Hugh Heffner wears). I want to make sure my audience is fully engaged and entertained so I will place a news “crawl” at the bottom of the screen, and show distracting videos on a screen right behind me. I’ll even play commercials so that no one has to push their attention span past the 15 minute time limit.
Well, so much for “theatre of the mind”…I’m heading to the concession stand (I mean kitchen), for some popcorn.
Until later
P.I.B.

WILL WE EVER LEARN

WILL WE EVER LEARN

There is no sense trying, I know I will never sleep tonight. I can’t stop playing thru a hundred different scenarios in my head. I keep looking around at my buddies to see if they are handling things any better than me, but each man has a blank, far off look in his eye.

I really don’t want to be here, and if I have to tell the truth, I’m afraid..I would be disgraced if the men with me knew it, but I’m very afraid. I find myself trying to calm my mind by thinking of my home, my family, my girl, anything to take my mind far away from here, from this place.

For a brief moment, my mind is at ease, as I think back on the many happy times in my life. This will be as close as I get to sleep or peace for the whole night, as images of my childhood, my parents, laughing with my friends, and peaceful times spent camping outdoors on a night near a river, much like tonight.

The night is quiet, as we sit here in almost total darkness, alone with our thoughts and fears. My eyes strain to no avail, into the abyss to see what awaits us. Its times like these that test a man’s strength, his convictions, his values. To be honest, if I could change my mind at this very moment, I would. I hate myself for even thinking that. If I take off these cloths I am really just a farmer.

I must put these thoughts aside. I must think of my honor, my duty, my training. I must trust in the decisions of the men who know more than myself. Surely they have planned and thought this thru. They would not have us here, if it were not the only way.

The night wore on, and my constant thoughts were my only companion. Soon it would be dawn. Soon I would know my fate. I have steeled myself, I will act with courage and honor, I will be brave in the eyes of my comrades, who have become like family to me.

I find myself looking towards the heavens. We have purposely picked this dark and moonless night, but right before dawn, I can see the twinkle ling of a single bright star. I’ve never been a religious man, but maybe this is a sign for me. They say, many a man accepts God on a night like this.

They have ordered me to get ready, my fate is at hand. Yes, now…I humble myself before God. There are no disbelievers right before a battle.
I do this for my country, I offer my life, for my fellow citizens. I pray that those in command have made a good and necessary decision.

It’s started now, noise, confusion, pain, my fall’in brothers, death… there is no turning back.. “On to victory, or home to meet my maker.”

Thoughts of a Roman Soldier….216 b.c.: Battle of Cannae, on the banks of the River Aufidus…. Or, last night in Iraq….

“THE ESSENCE AND HORROR, OF THIS THING CALLED WAR, HAS NEVER CHANGED”

P.I.B.

FRIENDS AND TEACHERS

OF FRIENDS AND TEACHERS

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.
Chinese Proverb

They say that if you have but, a handful of true friends in your life, you are a lucky man. My experience tells me that if you have had a few great teachers, your life will have been further enriched. And if, by some rare occurrence, you have had the good fortune to have known a great teacher as a friend, it is a rare thing indeed.

In my own life, I have known only a few great teachers, and even fewer that I have called friend. Surprisingly, none have come from my school years, and only a few from my work years. That would leave my father and the lord in my personal life, and several of my martial arts teachers that have left an indelible mark in my consciousness.

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
William A. Ward

A teacher has great knowledge, but also must be able to pass on that knowledge, so many will never choose to teach. To share one’s knowledge can be both a burden and a joy, and is one of the noblest pursuits. Many will never begin that life long journey.

A teacher usually has great passion, but must kindle that passion in the student. The best of the teachers, is yet a student. Learning still, sometimes from his teacher, but usually from his teaching of his students.

By watching them, and answering their questions, he obtains a deeper knowledge of the subject that he is teaching. By observing and correcting the student, the teacher perfects his craft. By repetition and careful explanation the teacher isolates and examines the finer points of his art.

The teacher expands, enriches, and refines his art. He inspires his students to learn. They leave with not only the knowledge but a passion for the subject.


“In the end…I think that I would have lived a life worth living..If my children would remember me as “teacher and friend”.
P.I.B.

VEGAS- BABY

WHAT HAPPENS HERE-STAYS HERE

Las Vegas, sin city, lost wages, the entertainment capital of the world. I love Vegas, in fact I have a second home out there. There is something in Las Vegas that appeals to almost everyone. Millions of visitors a year are attracted by the glittering lights and that few mile stretch, know as the strip. Within that narrow corridor you can find some of the best hotels, restaurants, casino, and night spots in the world. Not to mention the gambling, ah yes the gambling.

Years ago, the big L.V. was nothing more than a oasis and mountain valley, in the middle of a desert (hence the origin of its name..”the meadows”). Make no mistake about it, this town was built on gambling(and other vises) . Nevada was the first state to legalize casino-style gambling It seems a few of my fellow country men migrated there in search of a place to invest some money (some say, ill gotten gains), and sort of get off the radar screen.

Any way the gaming business quickly took root out there, and a new industry was born. Cards, Keno, roulette, and the notorious “one arm bandits” (as opposed to the two arm bandits, and taxi drivers) People flocked in from all over the country and the world to enjoy the stunning desert scenery, and center of cultural (not). Along with the gaming came themed hotels, restaurants, clubs, money laundering, big production shows, bad Elvis impersonators, hundred dollar chips, golf, broken arms, and other grey area forms of entertainment.

Las Vegas flourished as the rich and famous made the valley, their home away from home.(and the gamblers made the park benches their homes) The brilliant casino operators came up with innovative ideas to attract even more visitors from every state and income group in the country. Soon, you could get everything from a quickie marriage or divorce to a $1.99 prime rib dinner. (and about everything in between).

Hotels popped up like the Stardust, Last Frontier, Thunderbird ,Tropicana, El Rancho Vegas Hotel-Casino, the Flamingo, and Desert Inn.( these early pioneers latter gave way to the new themed :mega-resorts”). Along with the resorts came a parade of celebrities, and assorted shady characters, whom either frequented or made L.V. their home. Stars and performers from singers to circus acts found the lucrative and opulent showrooms, and huge paydays difficult to resist. Big names of the times like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., and the incomparable Joey Bishop, performed there, 2 shows a night and 6 days a week. They were followed by the likes of Wayne Newton, Siegfried and Roy, and the king of one- liners Henny Youngman.

But the real secret, the money maker, is the gambling, where the house can dial in the odds to within half a point. And for every winner, there are hundreds of losers. But in the end it really doesn’t matter, because most people don’t even go there expecting to win. Its all about the thrill and exhilaration you get while you’re losing it. Face it, those huge hotels and casinos were not built by putting people back on the planes with a wallet full of money.
Where else can you go where people will willingly leave behind every dollar they have and go home feeling good about the experience. By the way, can you spare a dollar for a cup of coffee. Viva Las Vegas…

Until Latter
P.I.B.

OIL-THAT IS

OIL- THAT IS
Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. Bill Tammeus, in Toronto's National Newspaper, 1991
I’M TIRED OF HAVING TO BOW DOWN TO OIL PRODUCING NATIONS FOR OUR ENERGY NEEDS. IT’S TIME WE DECLARED OUR INDEPENCE FROM OIL AND FOSSIL FUELS.(shove it Shavez) Let’s face it, we’ve been hooked too long and now it’s hard to change because our whole economy is based on the internal combustion engine, fueled by old dead plants and dinosaurs.
The biggest reason we have not come up with a suitable alternative is two fold. A new energy source is useless without the distribution system and vehicles designed to use it.( I can’t drive to Iowa every time I need to refuel my corn oil burning ford fiesta.) Also, it’s been contrary to the massive capital investment by car makers and oil companies, in the gasoline and diesel burning internal combustion engine.
Up to now it has not been in their best interest to change. But now, I think even these behemoths see the need and opportunity to change. I applaud the research work being done on battery power, hydrogen, and even agricultural fuels. As far as I’m concerned enough progress is not being made, so I have decided to throw my considerable efforts into the game.
Not only am I going to do the nation a favor, but I plan to get rich in the process. I’m working on several prototypes of my new engine. The key is to build the engine around alternate, renewable, and plentiful fuel supplies. Gone will be the days where we have to drill thousands of feet into the earth or sea for oil exploration. Gone will be the need to disturb sensitive environmental areas.(and protected spotted owls) We will finally be able to tell those oil producing countries, where to ship their oil.
My first design works best in Italian sports cars. It still relies on a form of oil, however instead of regular and high test, it’s regular or extra virgin. That’s right “olive oil”. Not only is this en environmentally friendly alternative, it’s also great on salad or bread. If you can’t find a fuel station just pull into a grocery store
I’ve personally spent a great deal of research time on this next concept. I wanted a fuel source that was made right here in the good old U.S.A….Tennessee in fact. It may cost a few dollars more a barrel, but I’m all about saving the environment.(This should make the tree huggers happy) I’ve got this down to a science, you can darn near drink the stuff.(Oh..The sacrifices I make for science). The muscle car guys will be happy too. My test car broke new speed records in the quarter mile. You guessed it “OLD #7, Jack Daniels. It’s a little flammable but I fix that by cutting it with a little Coke. I feel good about this emerging technology, however since my D.U.I, I have my legal department checking to see if I will be in violation of any open bottle laws, by driving around with this fuel.
Lastly, I’m working on a nuclear driven car engine. Imagine..I install a small nuclear fuel source the size of a marble and you car runs for 25 years. You can pass by a lot of gas stations in 25 years. (but what if I have to use the rest room). No one wants to donate me any nuclear fuel (although the Iranians insist they will have plenty available soon) and the North Koreans who don’t really have it (wink, wink), have offered me a real bargin This concept can easily go global. If things continue as they are now, I’m sure you will be able to “fill up”..in any third world country soon.
I have to admit that this last design has been the most difficult for me, and I find myself drifting back to testing old concept #7 ( I mean #2).
Until Latter
P.I.B.

FAST FOOD

FAST FOOD

Anyone that knows me, knows I love great food. I was raised on delicious home made food, lovingly and painstakingly prepared. Healthy and nutritious dinners, huge three course holiday meals, and my share of leftovers.

Back then, meals were planed, prepared, and served after hours in the kitchen. Back then, we actually knew what was in the food we prepared. Back in Jersey my mom and grandmothers insisted on homemade pasta or the venerable Ronsoni pasta and they knew it by it’s number. “I’m thow’in a box of 23’s. That was then, and now is now..Today…who has the time.

Everybody is busy, we’re always running, and going, and rushing some place or the other. We have appointments, and commitments and meetings. It seems the pace of life is much faster today, then when I was growing up. Heck I can remember when even our pasta tomato sauce took all day to simmer.(back then the old ones called it gravy) Home made bread fresh and hot from the oven with real butter just melting on it, what a treat.

Dinner used to be a big deal at our house, it was a time when the family got together, relaxed, and talked to each other. It’s hard to do that over a burger you’re wolfing down at the stop light.

Americans today want their food fast and on the run. Whole businesses have become successful just fulfilling our desire for fast and convenient food. Sometimes I wonder just how easy they are going to make it, and how lazy we will become. I mean, I’ve seen pre-cooked pancakes and bacon at the supermarket for goodness sake.

Any trip down grocery lane will quickly make my point. They have canned food, canned ham, frozen vegetables, pre-cooked eggs, frozen dinners, pop tarts. Not to mention instant coffee, fish sticks, hamburger helper, meal in a box (what food group is that in ?), and even refrigerated and pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (what failed culinary student thought that one up).

It doesn’t end there. We can also dine in, or take out, anything from Pizza to hamburgers, chicken, subs, and the king of all take out Chinese food. Our insatiable appetite for more and quicker take out food, has resulted in drive thru windows, taco bell, delivery food, and the pinnacle of tasty gas station cuisine, the meat like rolls that are perpetually heating on rollers at your local 7-11

In fact there is virtually nothing that the American consumer can’t make and eat in 5 minutes or less with little more than the common microwave.
Ever hear the saying, you are what you eat. Think about it.

I actually have more to say, but the microwave bell just went off, my Ramin noodles are ready.

Until latter
P.I.B.