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WILL WE EVER LEARN
There is no sense trying, I know I will never sleep tonight. I can’t stop playing thru a hundred different scenarios in my head. I keep looking around at my buddies to see if they are handling things any better than me, but each man has a blank, far off look in his eye.
I really don’t want to be here, and if I have to tell the truth, I’m afraid..I would be disgraced if the men with me knew it, but I’m very afraid. I find myself trying to calm my mind by thinking of my home, my family, my girl, anything to take my mind far away from here, from this place.
For a brief moment, my mind is at ease, as I think back on the many happy times in my life. This will be as close as I get to sleep or peace for the whole night, as images of my childhood, my parents, laughing with my friends, and peaceful times spent camping outdoors on a night near a river, much like tonight.
The night is quiet, as we sit here in almost total darkness, alone with our thoughts and fears. My eyes strain to no avail, into the abyss to see what awaits us. Its times like these that test a man’s strength, his convictions, his values. To be honest, if I could change my mind at this very moment, I would. I hate myself for even thinking that. If I take off these cloths I am really just a farmer.
I must put these thoughts aside. I must think of my honor, my duty, my training. I must trust in the decisions of the men who know more than myself. Surely they have planned and thought this thru. They would not have us here, if it were not the only way.
The night wore on, and my constant thoughts were my only companion. Soon it would be dawn. Soon I would know my fate. I have steeled myself, I will act with courage and honor, I will be brave in the eyes of my comrades, who have become like family to me.
I find myself looking towards the heavens. We have purposely picked this dark and moonless night, but right before dawn, I can see the twinkle ling of a single bright star. I’ve never been a religious man, but maybe this is a sign for me. They say, many a man accepts God on a night like this.
They have ordered me to get ready, my fate is at hand. Yes, now…I humble myself before God. There are no disbelievers right before a battle.
I do this for my country, I offer my life, for my fellow citizens. I pray that those in command have made a good and necessary decision.
It’s started now, noise, confusion, pain, my fall’in brothers, death… there is no turning back.. “On to victory, or home to meet my maker.”
Thoughts of a Roman Soldier….216 b.c.: Battle of Cannae, on the banks of the River Aufidus…. Or, last night in Iraq….
“THE ESSENCE AND HORROR, OF THIS THING CALLED WAR, HAS NEVER CHANGED”
P.I.B.
There is no sense trying, I know I will never sleep tonight. I can’t stop playing thru a hundred different scenarios in my head. I keep looking around at my buddies to see if they are handling things any better than me, but each man has a blank, far off look in his eye.
I really don’t want to be here, and if I have to tell the truth, I’m afraid..I would be disgraced if the men with me knew it, but I’m very afraid. I find myself trying to calm my mind by thinking of my home, my family, my girl, anything to take my mind far away from here, from this place.
For a brief moment, my mind is at ease, as I think back on the many happy times in my life. This will be as close as I get to sleep or peace for the whole night, as images of my childhood, my parents, laughing with my friends, and peaceful times spent camping outdoors on a night near a river, much like tonight.
The night is quiet, as we sit here in almost total darkness, alone with our thoughts and fears. My eyes strain to no avail, into the abyss to see what awaits us. Its times like these that test a man’s strength, his convictions, his values. To be honest, if I could change my mind at this very moment, I would. I hate myself for even thinking that. If I take off these cloths I am really just a farmer.
I must put these thoughts aside. I must think of my honor, my duty, my training. I must trust in the decisions of the men who know more than myself. Surely they have planned and thought this thru. They would not have us here, if it were not the only way.
The night wore on, and my constant thoughts were my only companion. Soon it would be dawn. Soon I would know my fate. I have steeled myself, I will act with courage and honor, I will be brave in the eyes of my comrades, who have become like family to me.
I find myself looking towards the heavens. We have purposely picked this dark and moonless night, but right before dawn, I can see the twinkle ling of a single bright star. I’ve never been a religious man, but maybe this is a sign for me. They say, many a man accepts God on a night like this.
They have ordered me to get ready, my fate is at hand. Yes, now…I humble myself before God. There are no disbelievers right before a battle.
I do this for my country, I offer my life, for my fellow citizens. I pray that those in command have made a good and necessary decision.
It’s started now, noise, confusion, pain, my fall’in brothers, death… there is no turning back.. “On to victory, or home to meet my maker.”
Thoughts of a Roman Soldier….216 b.c.: Battle of Cannae, on the banks of the River Aufidus…. Or, last night in Iraq….
“THE ESSENCE AND HORROR, OF THIS THING CALLED WAR, HAS NEVER CHANGED”
P.I.B.
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