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PASSWORD PROTECTED
Three hundred seventy eight dollars and twenty four cents, that’s what it just cost me to have my computer fixed. Not to mention missing a half day of work(for the stitches). I almost think it was worth it, but I probably shouldn’t have kicked the damn thing. After all, I really enjoy using my computer. In fact I don’t know what I did before computers.
I use my computer to work, pay bills, communicate, and even shop on line. I can sit home and check prices or purchase anything from toner to appliances. Who ever first invented on line commerce was a genius. But, as internet and on line sales grew, so did theft, fraud, identity theft, and credit card scams.
Merchants were quick to react with encrypted and secure web sites and various security measures. But somewhere down the line I think they over compensated. Is it just me, or do some of the web sites just plain make it difficult to purchase what they are selling.
So anyway, I’m trying to order a pizza the other night, and I’m sailing thru the selection process. Large, thin, 50/50 pepperoni and veggies, a side of wings, and bottle of pepsi. Ok…now, view my cart and check out. “returning customers please log in, new customers, please create an account”. But, I don’t want to create an account, I just want to order a freakin pizza. I’m hoping that any one that has been thru this will sympathize with me.
“Please select a user name:”.. ok Joe Shmo, I want my pizza..let’s go….
“the user name Joe Shmo, is already in use”…but that’s my name…this is ridiculous..ok…Joe Shmo2…
“that user name is already in use”….ok J. Shmo…”sorry, can only use letters and numbers in user name” I quickly type in Pizza boy…”no already in
use”….how about Doctor Joe Shmo..”in use”… I then quickly typed in….John Doe Shmo…you guessed it “already in use”
By now, I’m getting a little pissy..as I type in my attempts in machine gun fashion…starting with the manly type usernames…striker, butch, toughguy, goodfella, knuckles, and superman.. Just as quickly the screen flashes back its disapproval…”No, No, a thousand times No…” I picked up speed, hammering the key board, at a nearly break neck pace, as I moved to places and t.v show titles: Vegas, Denver, Seattle, Little Rock, NYC.., Star treck, apprentice, every one loves Raymond, Ossie and Harriet, Lassie…. “taken , taken, No, reserved”…Maybe I should have skipped to the part where they ask my pets or mothers maiden name.Or the part where you have to copy the near illegible curvy word into the box.
By now I’m totally frustrated and entering the second stage of pizza withdrawals…now its down to a battle of wits…For gosh sakes, I’m just trying to order some food, not cyber hack into the pentagon. I’m kinda perplexed by the idea that Sandy Burger can walk off with top secret government documents stuffed in his socks and yet my cheese pizza is still secure … do you want my darn money or not. I’m talk’in pizza here, not ticketmaster. Ok, catch a breath… I need to out think this thing. This is the part where you start looking around the room and entering usernames from things you see.. “ dell, pencil, letter, book, subway, handcuffs, duct tape, zoro mask.(ah..did I say that out loud)… “No, ahh ahh, no way, denied, ain’t happening, nada”
At that point I probably should have just called Pizza Shack and ordered it on the phone, but now “it was the principle of the thing”..I need something so totally off the wall, that no one else since the dawn of time would use it as a user name..Ok, here we go, in rapid succession. The last names of my entire senior class, the starting line up for the 1964 Yankees, and the launch codes for our countries missiles (backwards)… This was the point where I first kicked my computer.
By this time, I sat there exhausted in a puddle of sweat, and self pity. I had long since made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and much of it had now worked its way deep into the key board. Almost in defeat I made One, Last, Try…. Pencil neck no lead geek 99…..”user name available”. “Now Please select an unused password”….
And that my friends..was the death toll for my computer..
Until Latter
Pencil neck no lead geek 99
P.I.B
Three hundred seventy eight dollars and twenty four cents, that’s what it just cost me to have my computer fixed. Not to mention missing a half day of work(for the stitches). I almost think it was worth it, but I probably shouldn’t have kicked the damn thing. After all, I really enjoy using my computer. In fact I don’t know what I did before computers.
I use my computer to work, pay bills, communicate, and even shop on line. I can sit home and check prices or purchase anything from toner to appliances. Who ever first invented on line commerce was a genius. But, as internet and on line sales grew, so did theft, fraud, identity theft, and credit card scams.
Merchants were quick to react with encrypted and secure web sites and various security measures. But somewhere down the line I think they over compensated. Is it just me, or do some of the web sites just plain make it difficult to purchase what they are selling.
So anyway, I’m trying to order a pizza the other night, and I’m sailing thru the selection process. Large, thin, 50/50 pepperoni and veggies, a side of wings, and bottle of pepsi. Ok…now, view my cart and check out. “returning customers please log in, new customers, please create an account”. But, I don’t want to create an account, I just want to order a freakin pizza. I’m hoping that any one that has been thru this will sympathize with me.
“Please select a user name:”.. ok Joe Shmo, I want my pizza..let’s go….
“the user name Joe Shmo, is already in use”…but that’s my name…this is ridiculous..ok…Joe Shmo2…
“that user name is already in use”….ok J. Shmo…”sorry, can only use letters and numbers in user name” I quickly type in Pizza boy…”no already in
use”….how about Doctor Joe Shmo..”in use”… I then quickly typed in….John Doe Shmo…you guessed it “already in use”
By now, I’m getting a little pissy..as I type in my attempts in machine gun fashion…starting with the manly type usernames…striker, butch, toughguy, goodfella, knuckles, and superman.. Just as quickly the screen flashes back its disapproval…”No, No, a thousand times No…” I picked up speed, hammering the key board, at a nearly break neck pace, as I moved to places and t.v show titles: Vegas, Denver, Seattle, Little Rock, NYC.., Star treck, apprentice, every one loves Raymond, Ossie and Harriet, Lassie…. “taken , taken, No, reserved”…Maybe I should have skipped to the part where they ask my pets or mothers maiden name.Or the part where you have to copy the near illegible curvy word into the box.
By now I’m totally frustrated and entering the second stage of pizza withdrawals…now its down to a battle of wits…For gosh sakes, I’m just trying to order some food, not cyber hack into the pentagon. I’m kinda perplexed by the idea that Sandy Burger can walk off with top secret government documents stuffed in his socks and yet my cheese pizza is still secure … do you want my darn money or not. I’m talk’in pizza here, not ticketmaster. Ok, catch a breath… I need to out think this thing. This is the part where you start looking around the room and entering usernames from things you see.. “ dell, pencil, letter, book, subway, handcuffs, duct tape, zoro mask.(ah..did I say that out loud)… “No, ahh ahh, no way, denied, ain’t happening, nada”
At that point I probably should have just called Pizza Shack and ordered it on the phone, but now “it was the principle of the thing”..I need something so totally off the wall, that no one else since the dawn of time would use it as a user name..Ok, here we go, in rapid succession. The last names of my entire senior class, the starting line up for the 1964 Yankees, and the launch codes for our countries missiles (backwards)… This was the point where I first kicked my computer.
By this time, I sat there exhausted in a puddle of sweat, and self pity. I had long since made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and much of it had now worked its way deep into the key board. Almost in defeat I made One, Last, Try…. Pencil neck no lead geek 99…..”user name available”. “Now Please select an unused password”….
And that my friends..was the death toll for my computer..
Until Latter
Pencil neck no lead geek 99
P.I.B
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